[record scratch]
(Trophy wife. Real game, don’t hit chicks)

(two radio jerks talk ‘bout PSI, like they’re Bill Nyes, of CSI…)
(two radio jerks talk ‘bout PSI, like they’re Bill Nyes, of CSI…)

Guess who’s back, back again.
Brady’s back, tell a friend.
Guess who’s back,
guess who’s back,
guess who’s back,
guess who’s back
guess who’s back
guess who’s back
guess who’s back...

I’m the world’s greatest monstah, ‘cause nobody wants ta’
watch football, I guess, if the ball weighs an ounce less.
Well if you want cheating, let the team docs give ya
a little bit of speed mixed with a painkillah –
some salt tabs that’ll jumpstart your heart quickah than the
ice tub I sub-merge my dick in ta’ for a
knee that I got six operations
on and play everyday while it keeps inflating.
(hey!)

You wanna weigh balls that I’m deflating,
bring your scales to Gisele’s while I’m copulating.
I know that you got a job Troy Vincent but head-buttin’ red nuts can
cloud your vision…

So the CBA won’t let me play, or let me get paid (some deal we made…)
I know Demaurice got legally Janay’d, but the bullshit pulpit’s gettin’ played.

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So - come on Ted, bring all your cash, and watch that,
ya got some red cum in your ‘stache,
and get ready your caseload’s about to get heavy –
I just filed all my lawsuits,
DON YEE’S READY!

[‘Cuz Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

[I said, Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

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Made millions, maybe kick back while I’m still young
retire, and let the league’s face be J-Winston.
You’ll start selling his jerseys like hotcakes,
‘til someone comes along with a kid and she and yells “rape!”

A vision, ain’t it – everything tainted – with
Peyton and me both long gone and sainted, the legends…
So just let me revel and bask, in the fact that I got everything that I could ask for,
and it’s a laugher, it makes me slap my knee, for you to think your bullshit could stick to me.

When I’m back [*nana-nana-nana-nana*]
pick your best defendah send him in and then I’m gonna
pressure it in, under his hands like a sinker
and thread it in the end zone, back corner, sixer.

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I’m never resting, the next ring’s the best ring.
So best bring better D than the West Wing.
“And now for, the MVP” feel the tension soon as Roger steps to me,
“here’s your new truck”, and hands me the keys.
A new Dodge. “Thanks, Rog, park that for me!”

[‘Cuz Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

[I said, Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

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A rat fink, a beat punk,
I’ll be glad to debunk
anybody who’s talking this and that junk.

Andrew “Shit” Luck, you can get your ass fucked
worse than the hooker, dead, in Jim’s crack truck.
And Mad Dog, you can go suck my dad’s hog, ya 56 year old hot air balloon phony.
You don’t know me, you’re too slow, reload, ya missed me,
WASCALLY WABBITS ARE TWICKY!

Now let’s go!
Just give me the signal, I’ll be there with a whole bag full of new trick balls,
I’ve been so, resourceful with a rulebook
since before Jim Haslem was even a fuel crook.

But sometimes when we talk “cheats”, everybody only wants to discount me
But this must mean we’re discounting,
tax frauds – we’re not? Oh,
‘den count deez rings (bitch!)

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So I’m not the QB, you think I should be
I am the first one to cut my salary, and structure it so unselfishly
and use that to make my team wealthy.
(hey!)

There’s a concept to try
$20 million buys a lot of white skill guys
but no matter how gritty those guys may be, they will still be useless without me.

[‘Cuz Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

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[I said, Rog went too light on DV
so now he’s gonna just martyr me
then hope his critics all get CTE
but he’ll still fuck shit up without me.]

(1st ballot Haller,
white collah ballah,
make Gisele holla,
fuck alla y’all…)

(1st ballot Haller,
white collah ballah,
make Gisele holla,
fuck alla y’all…)

(RINGS!…)