Settle in, friends.

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

I enjoyed this one-liner from RMJ=H in the Russell Wilson draft. This unexpected dig gets maybe 15% of its juice from being smart about its target and the remaining 85% from seeming somewhat random and obscure. The function is to draw a quick, effectively silly juxtaposition between the broad nature of something called a Rule and the specificity of this particular Rule. Anyway, yeah, hey, how you doin'.

This I like, from BlairWalshProject in the Caps Holiday Video post. We've seen this kind of joke before - in fact, I highlighted one as recently as Tuesday - where the author uses rhythm and timing to unexpectedly turn something straightforward-seeming into an awkward personal revelation. These require a certain amount of restraint, otherwise they come across like Phil Connors stumbling crazily around his snowman yelling about adopting children in Groundhog Day. Whoa, that got away from me. Maybe you know what I mean. Let's move on. Later, this joke, in the Agent Fist Fight post, operates on very similar mechanics to RMJ=H's one-liner above: drawing a humorously specific conclusion from something broad and vague. Good stuff. Keep it up.

I needed a few minutes and a Google search to assemble this one, but it's good, from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Recruiting post. I considered leaving it out, but ultimately decided not to penalize a clever little joke for my unbelievable dearth of cultural knowledge. Also, here's an excellent one-liner in the Tom Chambers post. That's a terrific pull.

Speaking of terrific pulls, here's Raysism with a fantastic effort in the Tom Chambers post. Perhaps it tells you more than I'd like about my age and cultural awareness that I got this immediately, yet very nearly had to call my 11-year-old niece to get the milkshake joke. Also, don't be fooled by this comment's two measly recs - it's great. Or, anyway, I love it (from the Johnny Manziel Photobomb post). Again, this is an embarrassing look at my cultural awareness - 90s rap and Disney attractions. Oof.

This clever dig from Steve U in the Agent Fist Fight post came more than a half hour after the post was . . . um, posted, which is probably why it didn't get more attention. It's excellent. I also enjoyed this Benjamin Button-esque joke in the Peter Gammons post. Poor Peter Gammons.

This screwy little line from DougExeter is good for a laugh. It's essentially a recontextualization - it takes something from the text and makes it funny by giving it a new context. But it draws humor from elsewhere, too: from a jab at the stupidity of Frank Zappa's kids' names, or perhaps from the author playing the idiot, or maybe even both. Nice job.

This is great, from Same Sad Echo in the Smiling Hockey Fan post. It's already funny before it goes abstract, and then it just gets funnier. This is your Comment of the Day.

Total Fucking Duds

I can't adequately explain it, but I hate this joke, from Snarls Barkley in the Mutton Bustin' post. It's gross and uncomfortable without being particularly witty or clever, and the picture does nothing. It's possible that I'm targeting this joke because its author threw a whole lotta shit against the wall today. Don't grind, Snarls. Make as many jokes as you like, but make them all good jokes.

I like StuartScottsEye. I've liked him on Deadspin and I like him on Twitter. This, though, this I hate, from the Caps Holiday Video post. Maybe the difference between a really good Idiot joke and just blatant lazy-ass trolling is a subtle one, but there's a difference, and it's important. This isn't a joke, this is a boring attempt to cram the first dumb uninspired idea into a comment and hopefully generate a laugh from the stupidity of others. Know what? I'm as interested in witnessing the stupidity of others as I am in having raccoons tear into my garbage, and I avoid the raccoons by not putting trash where they can get to it. I genuinely hate being this preachy jerk - you guys are all, all of you, uncommonly smart, intuitive, funny people. You don't need me to tell you you can always do better than this.

Here's burner holotupacii with a significantly less subtle version of The Amazing Sneijderman's joke from the Recruiting post. Hey, burner boy, don't step all over a man's joke. Dummy.

Here's a startlingly lame and uninspired effort from I'm Dan, He's Casey in the Agent Fist Fight post. Hey guys, here's another time the words "house" and "burn" were associated! That's pretty fucking flimsy, guy.

Here's Kneel Anderson doing the whole #isawamovieonce thing in the Agent Fist Fight. Knock it off, blockhead. This shit isn't even remotely funny.

I stopped at DUAN. Forgive me. I'm sure there are a lot more out there. Please feel free to post any I missed down in the comments. Their authors will appreciate it.

Eat well and sleep peacefully you beautiful sumbitches.