An occasional feature highlighting the wackiest conversations found in the wild unregulated hinterland of Deadspin's Pending Submissions.
From Regressing's Facebook Fangraph post. Meet BrianD:
You'd assume North Carolina and Wisconsin would both be rooting for the Seahawks because of Russell Wilson alone.. Friday 1:11pm
A perfectly harmless attempt to explain fan sentiment. One might expect this to be the beginning of a reasonable discussion. Alas. Enter rUDy Flyer 41:
As a Packer fan, all I can say is fuck the Seahawks because of the Fail Mary.
You know, I believe that is all you can say. In fact, I have come to believe that is all anyone can say. But, before we get to that, finish your point.
Also fuck the 49ers.
Basically, go Broncos. Friday 1:16pm
There is nothing here that is substantially different from ooga booga. Let's move right along to BrianD's retort.
As a Seahawks fan, can I say, fuck the Packers for bitching about then when they damn well know they wouldn't have been in that position if it weren't for a enormous phantom PI call that put you in that position in the first place.
I like to think Phantom PI is the wailing ghost of Tom Selleck's long-dead acting career. But let's ignore for a moment the fact that this reply is basically word-salad. The question isn't can [you] say fuck the [sports team]. The question is can anyone not say fuck the [sports team]? Don't be so sure!
Also 8 sacks. Friday 1:18pm
Oh, right, ooga booga. Silly me. Onward!
Here's known dipshit Lana, Lana,.....LANAAAAAA!!! with an important contribution:
And as a Packer fan I say "Fuck the Seahawks" because fuck the Seahawks. Friday 1:30pm
Let's be honest here, guys: this is a pure distillation of basically all NFL fan discourse.
Now, let's return to rUDy Flyer 41 for a detour into singular preposterousness:
Logical-fan side of me absolutely agrees with you.
Incredible. Does it even matter who he's responding to? Or which point? I find a core of logic in that random fart you just aimed in my direction.
Irrational-fan side of me thinks there is
something logical in this conversation oh I didn't mean to interrupt no better team in NFL history than the Packers and all Packer fans are always 100% correct, not obnoxious, and really skinny. Friday 1:35pm
Well, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem.
But enough about you, bub. Let's get back to the stimulating football conversation! Take it away, themightyspitz:
As a Cal fan, I say "Fuck the Seahawks (except Marshawn Lynch)" and "Fuck Jim Harbaugh (except the Niners)". Friday 1:38pm
Well, for my part, as a fan of . . . whoa. Where did that come from? It can't be communicable. As a fan of not starting sentences with as a [blank] fan, I just want to say fuck starting sentences with as a [blank] fan.
No, wait! Allow me to rephrase. As a f- NO! No no no. N-O. Jesus. It happens so fast!
Take us home, cityzun:
As a Packers fan in California, fuck the Seahawks AND the Niners.
Not you too!
Both teams' fans have been absolutely insufferable the past two years.
As fans not being absolutely insufferable for quite so long fans, I think we can both rightly say fuck fans being absolutely insufferable for two whole years.
And yes I realize the absurdity of a GB fan calling other fans insufferable Friday 1:47pm
As a GB fans neither embracing their own insufferableness nor realizing the absurdity of really anything fan, I say fuck you and your whole deal, buddy.
As a you guys fan, can I just say fuck not telling you guys to have a great time watching football tomorrow afternoon. Until next time!