T-1. Oranges, limes, lemons, grapefruits, clementines

6. Your various apples, probably

7. Kiwis

8. Pears

8. Peaches

9. Apricots

10. Plums

11. Cherries

12. Hitting your step-dad's car with a racket "accidentally" because fuck you, Brad

13. All of the grapes

14. Blueberries

T-15. Blackberries/raspberries

17. Pineapples

18. Bananas

19. Honeydew melons

20. Canteloupes

21. Your mom's melons

22. Watermelons

23. Getting hit by Brad's car because he "didn't see you practicing your forehand [makes giant wanking motion] at the end of the driveway when I backed out real fast because the Cardinals game was about to come on and I was out of Budweiser and anyway tennis is for fruits why don't you play a man's game like baseball"

24. Guavas are not a real thing but what the hell let's put them on this list anyway

25. Marmol Heater