Well folks, the reviews of Stephen Colbert’s new Late Show are in:

“The show is okay, but where are the Top Tens? I miss those.”
- Darek B., Chicago

“I’ve tuned in every night since 1988, can recite every Top Ten from memory, and own a chain of mattress stores in the Phoenix area.”
- Phyllis A., Glendale

“Toop Tengs.”
- Ronald F., Lansing

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“My family and friends have assumed that, since I went missing 26 years ago, I have been dead. In reality, I’ve been living in the Phoenix area, where I own a chain of mattress stores and habitually watch the Top Ten segments from David Letterman’s The Late Show. The funeral was beautiful.”
- Phyllis A., Glendale

Well, CBS may not be listening, or maybe they are, I don’t know. I’ve never seen Colbert...just assuming he doesn’t do a Top Ten. That’s kind of the premise of this whole bit. Uh, well, anyway, I’m listening. Sure, maybe I messed up and forgot to wear nice pants. And yeah, maybe I got confused on the numbers. Well I need practice. And God willing, I’m gonna get it.

The Top Ten will not die. Not on my watch. Take it away!