[While leaving my apartment]

Girl: I can't find my phone

Me: Here, let me call it for ya

Girl: No, wait!

[I hit the call button and suddenly the sounds of the All-American Rejects and the words, "I'll keep you my dirty little secret, don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret" blare from underneath a couch cushion]

Me: So that's why you're so hesitant about me meeting your friends...

Girl: You're gonna write one of those dumb posts about this on that message board you've been talking about aren't you?

Me: IT'S NOT A MESSAGE BOARD!!!

This has been: Adventures in Dating