And now it's time for another installment of Sidespin's Bear Report, a feature which provides an enlightening peek into the lives of Deadspin's unofficial mascot species. The Bear Report documents the habits and movements of a particular sleuth of Kodiak bears who make their home in a remote area of central Alaska. Today's installment takes place in the dead of winter, a very trying period for many animals. No doubt today's subject, Dave the Bear, will have his hands full attempting to survive such brutal conditions. Take it away, Dave:

Dave: Zzzzzzzzzzzz...