1. Havarti

2. Muenster

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3. American (yes, fucking American)

4. Pepper Jack

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5. Brie

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6. Gruyere

7. Cheddar

8. Being a pedestrian in the crosswalk and narrowly missing being struck by an oncoming car only to be hit by a full-speed cyclist

9. Provolone

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10. Being hit by a car

11. Swiss