Roundup - Monday, January 27, 2014

Favorites and duds from today's commenting...

So, fun fact about this Kinja format. When you save, it defaults to "save as private", which is just a draft, and not an actual post, and then you leave it there for hours, and then Shitehawk emails you, but you've gone to bed, so Shitehawk calls you on your home phone and wakes your wife up and just screams at her that her husband is a complete idiot who forgot to post the roundup and your wife just looks at you wondering what the hell is going on because you've been living a secret double life as a sports blog comment adjudicator. On to the roundup.

Favorites, in no particular order:

RMJ=H with a funny joke at the expense of a CTE sufferer in the Football Popularity post. This joke was a damned oasis in a desert of horrible, horrible, commenting that all belongs in the duds if there was enough space. Later, he got in a shot at Detroit in a post about Seattle, which shows how smart and versatile this guy is. Good work today.

Nikkolai is a guy who can be counted on for a decent one-liner now and then, and this easy swipe at Tim Tebow is no exception to that occasional type of success. Also, did you know it would be funny to refer to a particular Carrie Underwood song in a reply to this comment? It would be hilarious! Nik, dismiss that nonsense.

Much like Richard Sherman started a national discussion on rape, 2012 Commenter of the Year runner-up Raysism sparked similar dialogue with his joke that, while based on the topic of rape and suicide, was not actually about that in the Missouri Swimmer post. This departure from Ray's usual lighthearted humor earned him a solid round of applause, and several First Take-style showdowns in adjacent threads. However, I enjoyed this sendup in the Seahawks Tattoo post even more, and that's why it's your Comment of the Day.

This is so stupid and self-referential and just completely absurd by prodigal son BronzeHammer in the Pro Bowl Hit post that I couldn't help but laugh at it, even though I didn't even notice the "Pho Bowl" switcheroo until the second read-through. Keep joking, buddy. We enjoy it.

The delivery was a bit clunky on this joke in the Macklemore-Carroll post, but the pull was funny enough that marmol heater earned a spot in the Favorites today. What's with that funky ellipsis, pal - I guess that's from the Chicago Manual of Style (little inside baseball for you there, folks, marmie is from Chicago). Also, this gross sequence in the Skittles Sausage post was disgusting and made me laugh and puke a little.

I liked this quick dialogue from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Today Show Producer post. It was funny, but it was like it was based on true facts, which made it funnier, to me at least, and that's what counts on Mondays around here.

Total Fucking Duds

Lotsa duds today. This piece of junk from idiot WonderZimms both is stupid and gives Joseph Finn a chance to say something vapid. Hey, loser, maybe you should ask yourself your own question before you post. I wonder what the answer might be...

Yes, manuellabor, the joke was not very good. But it was at least an attempt at humor. You, on the other hand, pulled the ever-so-original move of farting out a link to an Adam Sandler movie. Looks like a recurring theme in the duds tonight is going to be people who should take their own goddamn advice.

Maceo the Cat has to be the shittiest of all of the "Serious Sports Takes" Deadspin commenters. This whole thread is testament to his inability to understand simple concepts. Now let us never speak of him again.

Complete tool RigmasTFT with this turd in the Pro Bowl Nap post. I'm not even sure what the punchline is supposed to be here, but the best part to me is that the URL shows that he edited it from the original joke, which was "Wow, Chris Kluwe's life has really gone downhill lately." If you take two swipes at it, and you miss both times, redact, walk away, and think about what you've done.

Fuck off.

A football player did drugs. You need more than that to make a good joke.

I think that I've discussed this pet peeve of mine before, where someone takes a good idea for a joke and then absolutely murders it. The fact that the mayor of Sochi has the word "homo" in his name is a good catch, but it doesn't stand on its own for a joke. It demands subtlety - less is more. Maybe make the joke "CORRECTIONS: We at BBC would like to correct an error in our earlier story about there being no homosexuals in Sochi. The mayor's surname is actually Pakv." or something. Let the reader see it at first, not understand it, then go back and re-read the post and laugh heartily. Make it a joke and a bit of a brain-teaser. Don't fucking bold-text the only possible punchline. Fuck, that pisses me off.

Well, thanks for waiting up for this. As always, omissions and death threats in the comments below.