1. Havarti

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2. Muenster

3. American (yes, fucking American)

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4. Pepper Jack

5. Brie

6. Gruyere

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7. Cheddar

8. Being a pedestrian in the crosswalk and narrowly missing being struck by an oncoming car only to be hit by a full-speed cyclist

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9. Provolone

10. Being hit by a car

11. Swiss