An occasional feature highlighting the wackiest conversations found in the wild unregulated hinterland of Deadspin's Pending Submissions.

From the Bryce Harper: Fan of The Wave post. Meet Peter Jay Smith:

If you don't enjoy going to baseball games then don't go. You sound like a little emo kid complaining about how sports are too conformist and that people doing the wave are just puppets for society. ITS FUCKING HARMLESS FUN. DC sports fans are really the worst, you just got a brand new ballpark your teams finally good and you bitch about something like the wave. The difference between you and Philadelphia fans is that you would actually prefer to have something to complain about. Tuesday 3:42pm

I think maybe . . . maybe people are taking this Wave/no Wave business a little too seriously. Let's find out! Meet ThriceStaley:

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Fuck off. The waves sucks. Also, if it interferes with my enjoyment of the game it's not fun.Tuesday 3:44pm

Among reasonable people, a conversation about The Wave at baseball games really shouldn't ever include anyone saying fuck off to anyone else. Fuck off? That's a little overboard, right? How will Peter Jay Smith respond to this craziness? With a call to reason, of course:

You fuck off you piece of shit.

Hee!

How dare you try and ban the fucking wave.

How dare you, indeed! About The Wave! The. Wave.

If people around you making the most out of a game they paid money to see actually bothers you, then your a sad selfish troll. I bet you love whispering to your girlfriends "that's so rude" when people are doing something fun like the wave. How bout you Go to a game and instead of staring at your cell phone and tweeting about how good your seats are you look around and realize how fun watching a game is you girly spoiled entitled son of a bitch. People like you don't deserve to see a game live. Tuesday 3:59pm

Girly spoiled entitled son of a bitch. About THE WAVE.

ThriceStaley?

The folks who are staring at their cell phones are the folks who are doing the wave because they aren't actually watching the game. If its so much fun to watch the game, why are you inventing little ways to distract you and everyone else from what is happening on the field.

Sounds reasonable. Still . . . it's THE W-

In summary: fuck you and everything you stand for you wave-loving filthy communist.Tuesday 4:07pm

!

Okay, this is very plainly some intermediate level trolling. Provocative and not subtle at all. Will Peter Jay Smith take the bait?

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I feel like I should delete my last 2 comments because I didn't know you were mentally retarted.

Hook . . .

You do realize you just tried to call me a communist which is an anti American thing to be, Yet your the one trying to take away harmless freedom from thousands of people right?.

Line . . .

Your contradicting your awful opinions left and right. Get the fuck out of America if you don't like Freedom and liberty. After banning the wave whats next huh? Would you like it if they banned hats because it could obstruct somebody's view of something? or how bout if we got the govt. to get rid of Hot dogs at baseball games because some people are watching their diet.

[sigh]

Don't ever call me a communist you anti American piece of garbage. Seriously leave America.

Over The Wave! Leave America! Seriously, even!

Instead of trying to change everything around you to make it easier for you to live your stupid life and accomplish nothing why don't you just realize you live in the greatest most free country in the world. The fact that the Wave bothers you shows that you have no understanding of real problems in this world. Tuesday 4:19pm

Interestingly, the guy who just told the other guy to leave America over The Wave at baseball games just accused that guy of lacking perspective.

Let's just sit with that for a moment.

. . .

It's time to introduce someone with an approach that doesn't include the phrase "fuck off". Meet 3fingerzbrown:

Do your wave between innings or better yet save it for College Football. I'm trying to watch an artist paint corners and some dumb ass thinks it's cool to stand up in front of me at the least opportune time. Tuesday 4:22pm

That's a little abrupt, but at least 3fingerzbrown offers a solution: do "your wave" between innings. Your wave. So condescending. Still, it's a fair suggestion. Over to you, Peter Jay Smith:

That makes sense.

You don't fool me, Peter Jay Smith.

I think your better suited for Korean baseball though they give you strict instructions on how to behave during the games and the word liberty isn't in their vocabulary. Tuesday 4:27pm

Uh huh. Tell me more about Korean vocabulary, Professor Smart Guy.

Wall of Text!

My bitch about the wave at Nats Park is that it'll be the seventh inning, close game, Strasberg is on the mound and everyone watching the game is on the edge of their seats... a wave comes around, fine, that's cute. Oh look, it made a second time around. Great. Back to the game! And then for the next hour, some halfwit church group visiting from Tulsa stationed in the upper deck on the third base side will relentlessly try to revive it. Just watch the fucking game! We did your wave! Now leave us alone!

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It's always, always, always some group of kids in matching t-shirts with some wholesome looking chaperones, always always always in some god forsaken corner of the stadium, and they always, always, always try to start the wave right when something is actually happening. I don't know if every stadium has these groups, but in DC, especially in the summer, we get hordes of school groups, camp groups, church groups, etc. and by about July 4, anyone who lives here wants to kill them and anything they like. Tuesday 7:21pm

Thanks, SweatPea. That sure was a thing you said. What did you think, Masterdig_it?

Shaddddup bitch Tuesday 9:18pm

Tough but fair.

Bring us home, Peter Jay Smith:

Hahaha that's a good point that sounds terrible.

Hahaha there's no way any sentient human being actually laughed aloud at anything in this whole conversation you liar.

At Phillies games

A Phillies fan. I should have known. You may commence the disregarding of everything Peter Jay Smith says now.

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the crowds usually too into the game during exciting spots and usually the wave happens in between innings so its always fun and nobody cares.

Hey, creep, you just deported a guy to Korea for suggesting that very thing.

It's just not right to ban something like the wave though for a whole bunch of reasons.

Like communism, or whatever.

I guess nationals fans are just worse than I thought. Tuesday 9:27pm

Oh FUCK OFF. [grinds teeth to dust]