Roundup - Wednesday, July 2, 2014

What a day. Many good comments out there, so let's get right to it. Here it is, your Humpday Roundup.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

We had a pretty good morning, and marmol heater led off with this hilarious twist in the Claude Giroux story. Bonus points for imagining the scene unfolding in a Three Stooges sort of slapstick.

A number of goodies in the Warren Sapp Receipt. IronMikeGallego lit the stove with a choice bit of wordplay; Doc Holliday went for a trusty little "oops!" gaffe; and Curtis Wenis transcribed the receipt into hilariously imagined gluttony.

Milo Minderbinder's sharp eye made me laugh at the Royal Couple in the Andy Murray update. Perfect.

If you're at all like me, you probably felt a sharp pang of déjà vu around noon today. IronMikeGallego may have lit the stove up above, but goddamn if he didn't reach a roaring boil in the Olbermann check-in. Do you keep a template for these comments just lying around, IMG? Are you Keith fucking Olbermann? Like the lunacy of last year's masterpiece, it's the attention to detail that brings KO to life so well: the peppering of affectations ("sir … sir … sir"), one over-encumbered clausula after the next, the lofty diction, the entitled persecution complex, the totally believable drop into a British accent midway through. Better still, IMG slowly brings to the surface Olbermann qua corporate shill; as if this prim and imperious veneer can't fully efface the soul he had to sell upon returning to the Mothership. It's all there, and like a good chili, divorcing one or another particular aspect from the whole just does violence to the overall experience. You guessed it: this is your motherfucking Comment of the Day.

Total Fucking Duds

What a bratty, shithead, pointless thing to say, StickyTape0505. You've contributed absolutely nothing to the comments except a giant pile of stink passing for "Featured Discussion." Get fucked, asshole.

Hey, good work everyone. Yell at me down below, and if you're in NYC and happen to see the Deadspin writers out with Reuben, punch that guy right in the mouth. Voltaire out.