What the hell, guys. What the hell.

What. The. Hell.

What does a guy gotta do to get some fucking content on this bullshit blog that no one reads. Do I gotta beg? Are you pieces of shit gonna make me fucking beg for it?

Because I will do it. I will fucking beg.

I have no stake whatsoever in Sidespin's traffic or whatever, but I am sitting here in an empty-ass office trying to get through my goddamn day without doing any real work, and it would sure fucking help if one or two or nineteen of you dipshit pieces of shit would put on some big boy/big girl pants and write some goddamn posts. I'm not necessarily talking about top-shelf stuff that'll circle the internet a hundred times, but surely there's lots of room between stuff that's great and stuff that's shit. That's a lot of fucking turf to claim, you buncha moping underachievers. For crying out loud. I mean it's no wonder so many of you assholes are doomed to a life of virginity.

I, on the other hand, have had the sex.

When I suggested that you shitty punks might consider pitching your ideas to people who might pay you, I swear I was only trying to subtly chase some of you away, and by "some" I really mean "one or two," and by "one or two" I really mean DougExeter. And, besides, you and I both know you fucking losers haven't taken that advice, you're not making exciting pitches to actual publications and building a portfolio of published works. You're sitting around with your sad dicks in your hands like a buncha self-sabotaging dinguses, talking yourselves out of taking even that first step. So fuck it! Fuck it, guys. Come back to Sidespin.

Don't we all want this? Don't we all want to read stupid hair-brained abstract shit on Sidespin and be reminded that we've got a good group of funny-ass creative types sitting on their fat asses with nothing to do but cook up elaborate Idiot jokes? Christ. Can't you even address yourself to your own interests? What the fuck is wrong with you?

No more rules. I will not delete or otherwise banish posts. Pick fights. Make lists. I don't care. But knock it off with the bullshit failure-to-launch act. Most of you motherfuckers are too funny and too smart to not be putting your creativity in front of eyeballs. And, goddamn it, we've got eyeballs here. If nothing else, we've got goddamn eyeballs.

Post whatever the fuck you like, but do it soon. I've got hours of workday left and I am sick of just sitting here.