I like big box and I cannot lie.

You other shoppers can't deny

That when a guy walks in with a big ass cart

And his Fitbit set to start,

He gets sprung, wanna pull out his tough

'Cause he notices that store is stuffed

Two thousand of the jeans he's wearing.

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh Costco, I wanna get with you

And take your picture.

Some elitists tried to warn me

But that stuff you got makes me so horny

Ooh, tongues-a-waggin'

You wanna get in my family wagon*?

Well, use me, cruise me

'Cause you ain't that average grocery

I've seen snobs panic

To hell with your organics!

Costco's sweet, Chet,

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette*

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' farmers markets are the thing.

Take the average family man and ask him that

You gotta pack much back

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)

Has your Costco got pork butt? (Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Bake it! (Bake it!)

Take that 20 pound butt!

Costco is crack!

* I purchased our family wagon at Costco. Yes, a station wagon, at Costco. Before that we had a minivan. I guess that's a topic for another episode of bad things I like.