Roundup - Wednesday, December 11, 2013S

Hey all, it's me, Plus Juan, the third member of the reincarnated Mad Bastards All Roundups triumvirate. A little bit about me? Well, I'm sort of known as the bad boy of the group. Just playing around. Sorry for pulling your chain there, but I thought I'd get off on the right foot with a little joke. I love jokes. In fact, the only thing I like more than writing jokes is reading them and then, later, copying and pasting links to the jokes onto one page and talking about them for a little bit. SO LET'S GET TO IT!!!

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

This evening post in the Bartolo Colon blurb from SavetoFavorites is classic StF. Yes, the joke is solid and the reply is even better, but would you be surprised if I told you the thing he deleted was even funnier? Of course not! That's our boy.

Oh, Senior Angst, this was a goofy one in the MLS Stadium post, wasn't it? Slap the space bar while typing out the team name and you've got the fixings for a dandy pun. And another silly volley in the RGIII post! Kudos. But weren't we supposed to "shut it down" after that comment? Some people were still joking later on. Huh.

In other news, Raysism saw the batsignal in the Windy Punt post. I'm not even sure this stuff qualifies as Inside Baseball anymore. I think the vast majority of Deadspin readers (that is, the millions of "DEADSPIN HATES THE RAVENS!!" people I would be very uncomfortable giving my AOL screenname to) would recognize Ray, and would recognize him for his punt jokes, and would not understand them, and would still feel comfortable regurgitating them back to him on Twitter. Yuck. Anyway, Raysism can regurgitate all he wants.

This goof on Dan Snyder from DougExeter in the Ted Leonsis post is a knee-slapper in my book. Fuck Dan Snyder and the horse he rode in on. I bet it was a pony!!!!

And here's a way different angle on the same post from resident dork among nerds UniversalEnvelopingAlgebra. My belly wasn't aching after this one, but I was smiling bigger and bigger from start to finish. I love a slow burn on a joke, and this one is delightfully deliberate. More importantly, it's different. The tone, the format, the content, the whole universe of the joke is totally unfamiliar, and seeing the famed Deadspin commenters do something new and interesting is what it's all about for me. That's why this is the Comment of the Day.

Echo. Echo.....ECHO!!! RMJ said it best. You're a damned moron. Good work.

So, so much love for Iron Mike Gallego's heartfelt post in the Mark McGwire story. This is how you do a non-jokey comment, everyone. It deserved its own post. And a very funny backhand to boot. Thanks, IMG.

Finally, a fat joke, from marmol heater in the MLB Home Plate post. We end as we began. Aside: I genuinely get a good giggle out of this fella using an in-joke as his Deadspin handle, every time I see it. It's the perfect amount of stupid for people who love stupid. Don't change it back to billikenmetz, or whatever it was before.

Total Fucking Duds:

I'll apologize in advance for having a similar amount of Duds and Favorites. I know that isn't the way Shitehawk or the other clown who does these posts now for some reason would do it. Hopefully it's not a "thing". But there are about septytupple zabillion shitty trash comments for every one decent pun at the moment, so I think a 1:1 ratio is actually pretty good.

This, from Chid, in the Newcastle United post, is what a normal dud should look like: Flaccid, tenuous, and boring. It has 13 recommendations. That is what it takes to get 13 recommendations. For today, it's the King of the Duds*.

A big "No Thank You" to SideBar for delivering this lazy belly itch from the comfort of his hammock in the RGIII post. Unwanted and unappreciated. 130 recommendations.

Not to be outdone, Smoak On the Water dropped by with this paint-by-numbers drive-by that seems like it was born for the Know Your Meme discard pile. It's about as close as you can get to an "original" joke that feels like a bad copy, and that's...well, that's.....it's very Smoak On the Water-y, I'll say.

I am sure that I don't need to tell you that Joseph Finn made his way into the house somehow and ate some trash and puked up the trash on the carpet, on the carpet for God's sake, because that's what Joseph Finn does. But, man. Look at that stinky rejoinder. "Thank you!" is just so middle school. It's what someone with absolutely zero creativity and humor would say, so it's really no surprise he spent the time to type it, but god just look at it. I think we can all stop haranguing him to reply to his many critics if this is what we're going to get, can we not?

Sadly, I'll follow that up with an unadorned picture comment from our own Greg Howard. Come on, Greg! Greg is good. Greg is not this.

Boo. Hiss. Is this real life or is this fantasy, chowder007? Oh shit I typed everything up to the bold text and then I looked at the name and now I'm pretty sure it is a genuine comment. From chowderfucking007.

Heroically, UpstateUnderdog stops by to save the other not-too-good comments on the Andrew McCutchen post from scrutiny with a very typically lame wet fart of a brainpuke that earned him a well deserved "Are you a joke?" response from some burner or other. He may not be a joke, but could he tell one for crying out loud? You may not know that Upstate passes as something of a celebrated humorist on other sports blogs in the FratBoyNet blogging universe. But not here.

Alright! I'll admit, doing Duds is fun. Sorry if it bummed you out. Get a therapist about it. And also about this post being late, which it will almost certainly never ever be again.

Thanks, all. See you out there.

*Not a real thing, please don't kill me Shitehawk