I’m sorry but if you don’t want my opinion on the taste of the chicken dish that you brought for this stupid potluck you shouldn’t ask. It was awful but apparently me sharing my opinion is considered “aggressive” and here is my apology:
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Caseyn (seriously I have asked you a million times why you don’t just go by your middle name) -

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I’m sorry that I said your food tasted like “a dog ate cat shit then took a shit and you warmed it up in the microwave.” The setting (staff meeting) and volume of my voice was inappropriate. It didn’t “immediately give me diarrhea once it touched my tongue” and dropping some of it behind my back and pretending to poop it was definitely something I regret even though everyone probably thought it was funny. I have been asked to stay away from you and not to attend any more potlucks but if you want to hear a few zingers you know where to find me.

- Your pal RM

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SIGH