UPDATE: SOLVED!

So, it seems like a lot of, um...stuff is happening right now. And let's face it, you haven't been productive at work for more than 30 seconds at a clip today. So let's all embrace our collective slothitude with a quick game.

In order to earn an allowance, my kids have to do chores. My six year old took it upon himself to write his own chore list. Your job is to translate what he wrote into actual English.

A couple of notes:

1. He also assigned a money value to each chore, on the right. 77 cents! Hilarious.

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2. Um, my kid is actually pretty smart and doing really well at school and normally makes his letters correctly so please feel free to shove it.

3. Since I did not create this game, there is no possible way for me to have fucked up any of the answers, so once again, shove it.

HINT: The last one is extremely difficult. It's something you never did once during college.

HINT 2: The last one is hard to see, the text is:

Answers, via a lot of you:

Clean the table

Clean the porch

Rake the lawn

Feed the dog

Pick up the dog poop

Fold laundry