Shitehawk and Apprentice have locked me in the Daily Roundups woodshed and vow not to let me out until the Week in Review is finished. You know what I say to that? "Please let me out of here … Write? Okay, I'll write."
Last Week's Swinging Dicks
Statistically speaking, this was an excellent week in Kinja-age Deadspin commenting. I tally 29 unique contributors to the week's favorites, and perhaps 7 (or 8?) Roundups debuts. Good stuff, people.
We have a 3-way tie for 3rd place with 2 favorites each this week: TheInfantTyrone, DougExeter, and Same Sad Echo (really?) have all earned a spot in the monthly rotation for this moderately-used FLOWBEE Home Haircutting System™ (shipping and handling not included).
TheInfantTyrone's very simple, very sharp pull on Monday yields his favorite for the week, if only because I fucking hate those stupid arcade games.
Let's all re-admire DougExeter's Idiot joke from Thursday in the P.J. Hairston post. Do they even have Trader Joe's in Canada, Doug?
Same Sad Echo's weekly favorite also comes from Thursday with this nifty tweaking of the LeBron Conspiracy post. The "Hoo boy" just killed me, man.
There's a 4-way tie for 2nd place between pkellen2313, Madoffs Mets, Pleatherface, and cobra, brah!, who netted 3 favorites this week. Congratulations! You've each won a jar of bloody pubic hair and scrotal tissue.
pkellen2313 is a man of few words, and I really admire his tight wordplay on Friday in the Fan Fight post.
On Monday, Madoffs Mets taught us all how to kick dirt on the poor Cleveland Browns. "A stone-cold joke," Plus Juan might call that.
Pleatherface's favorite this week is undoubtedly Monday's troll-job in the Johnny Manziel video update. A wonderful timing joke right there.
This is a tough choice, cobra, brah!, but I need to go with your continuation joke on Tuesday that dragged the story down into dark humor.
Alright. Okay. There's a good old-fashioned tie for 1st place honors this week. RMJ=H and marmol heater both hooked 4 favorites, so y'all can divide up the final 3.5% of whatever settlement Senseless Apprentice nets from a home-grooming-appliance-related class action lawsuit. Well done, guys, you're the best.
Yeah, no question at all: RMJ=H's favorite this week is Monday's first comment on the LeBron Circus prospectus. Goddamn that's a good fucking line.
Returning to marmol heater's gallows humor on Wednesday makes me cringe all over again. That's some dark shit, buddy.
But wait there's more …
The Monday Comment of the Day, from RMJ=H.
The Tuesday Comment of the Day, from ObscureSimpsonsReference.
The Wednesday Comment of the Day, from ReverseApeChemist.
The Thursday Comment of the Day, from BloodGames.
The Friday Comment of the Day, from Jay Sanin.
The Lessons of the Week
I'll cut myself off here. Keep your eyes peeled for another Profile in Commenting, coming soon to a commenter-run-Deadspin-sub-blog near you. You're all wonderful, beautiful people.