Clue: "O'Hara's Choice" is the final novel by this author who made his own exodus from this world in 2003

Contestant Jeff Kuhn: Who is Umberto Eco?

UMBERTO ECO?! Are you SERIOUS, dude? Umberto Eco is still alive and kicking! And still writing books! Are you high? The answer is, obviously, Leon Uris, the Jewish writer of— get this— Exodus. Pay attention next time, you mouthbreather.

Advertisement

Clue: Will thought he'd keep this pal of Romeo alive, but the "plague o' both your houses" speech really worked

Contestant Jenne Bergstrom: Who is Benvolio?

BENVOLIO?! Christ, is everyone on Jeopardy! retarded? Benvolio's role in Romeo and Juliet is SO minor, and he serves as a peacekeeper in the play! He'd NEVER give the "plague o' both your houses" speech, you moron. Try Mercutio, who is fatally wounded, giving him motivation to give that speech. You are possibly the stupidest person to ever live.

Advertisement

Clue: Your parents may "read" you this; England passed the original one back in July 1715 to deal with noisy protests

Contestant Steve Milton: What is the Bill of Rights?

Your parents read you the BILL OF RIGHTS?! I don't know what kind of weirdo household you come from, Steve, but it's obviously full of IDIOTS. Drown yourself for getting a question wrong on Jeopardy, you shitstain.

Clue: To visit this windy South American plateau, you may want to bring a Synchilla jacket from the company of the same name

Contestant Barry Petchetsky: I don't know.

Oh, great guess, GENIUS.