Freeman McNeil: So what are you doing now that Gawker has shut down?

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Jordan Sargent: Drinking lattes, watching Italian cinema, dabbling in perfumes.

FMcN: Would you consider yourself a religious man?

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JS: I don’t like my messiahs so, ugh... martyred.

FMcN: Any hobbies? Do you play sports?

JS: Ew, I’d like sports if nobody else was there and we didn’t have to compete.

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FMcN: I hear you play the harp.

JS: I did, right up until you just mentioned it right now.

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FMcN: I have this kitten. I would like to give it to you because it’s so cuddly and cute.

JS: Kittens are so 1998. It’s Ocelots or nothing. Now it’s not even Ocelots. I’ve moved on to Jaguarundis.

FMcN: Ok... so if I come across a Jaguarun...

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JS: NOPE! It’s Kodkods now.

FMcN: Have you watched Stranger Things yet?

JS: Everyone knows that television reached its apex with Unsolved Mysteries. Duh.

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FMcN: Ok, so I’d like to say thank you for sitting down with me today.

JS: I’m not sitting.

FMcN: Ok, so I’d like to say thank yo...

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JS: (turns around, leaves while typing furiously on Blackberry)

*not an actual interview