5. Miss A. Good God. Assuming you could find the requisite three bags to fit over that rectangle head of hers, how do you get past the untreated hepatitis?

4. Miss U. You know the type. Young, and blonde, and hot, and OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP.

3. Miss O. She puts the Oh in Miss O. The original MILF.

2. Miss I. Where exactly are you from, you sexy thing? You know what — don't tell me. Just keep talking. I is my favorite subject.

1. Miss E. I guess I've always been a sucker for a girl who likes to workout.