Well our grand experiment in consumer feedback is over, largely because a certain Trolly McTrollerson who shall remain nameless (Captain Stoatpamphlet) breached the limit of 100 survey responses by writing in "VEST" no fewer than 78 times. While I have no doubt that a contest regarding the six different vests I own would be enthralling, it would result in only one winner: me, because I already own so many awesome vests.

Here is the breakdown of the voting:

For some weird reason "Quit Stalling Motherfucker" was the top vote-getter, narrowly beating out "Socks and/or Dogs." Can't help but wonder if there's a message in those results. Something about offering universal healthcare to illegal immigrants, maybe?

For an even nerdier breakdown, here are the decimal facts:

You'll note that, even with the application of actual numbers, the results are the same. Also, two of you are pretty big fans of Mien Kampf, which is sorta disturbing.

We received several notable write-in votes as well. Some highlights:

  • Raysism has testicle dandruff
  • Make Shitehawk as angry as possible in 250 words or less
  • Poop
  • Dave Hitler
  • Deadspin Commenter Russian Roulette
  • 2012 COTY
  • Ethics in Kinja posting

And then this actual, thoughtful contribution:

Serious suggestion: contestants start new, inconspicuous burner accounts and start commenting. First person to get followed by Deadspin wins. Second place is the second person to get followed by Deadspin, and so on. One, you don't get inflated recs because of who you are, and two, forces regulars to scout the greys for good comments. Bonus advantage: raises the bar for grey burners and curbs bad comments. Disadvantage: Uncertain contest end date and may take a while, but who knows, maybe the suspense will be fun.

An interesting idea. Similar to the anonymous commenting tournament Raysism set up, yet different. The downside I see to a competition like this is that you could probably get followed by Deadspin without actually saying anything funny, which would defeat the purpose of improving the comment section.

Advertisement

The bad news is that the contest will be about none of these things, nor will it be a commenting contest. So what will the contest be about? The good news is that I'm going to post it pretty soon! There is a fine line between some light trolling while hyping a silly contest on a side blog of a sports blog, and getting murdered by your online friends for excessive beating of a dead horse. I want to stay on the right side of that line.

So look for the contest in the near future. Until then, remember: you are all going to be very, very disappointed.