Roundup - Friday, April 18, 2014

Just when you think initiation is over, Shitehawk and Senseless knock on your door at 3:52 AM with a nasty hankering for krokodil. To make a long story short, I'm punching out early to meet with a compliance officer today, because apparently the definition of "hazing" has expanded to include "blindfolding, kidnapping, and [REDACTED]."

If you're so inclined, there's a donation box over there for bail money. Shitehawk promises he's good for it.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

I was surprised at the relative dearth of good jokes in the morning stories, but there were a few chucklers. Cianfrocco's Modern Life had a decent retort in the Bad Haircut post, Hit Bull Win Steak rushed in late for a laugh, and Milo Minderbender opened the door for a pyramid that never came about.

Luckily, RMJ=H paired with Milo Minderbender in the Defenseless Harden story to spruce things up. It's always a treat to watch creative minds in the moment, and what better way than with an old fashioned pyramid.

Oh dear, Steve_U, oh my. This fictive tweet in the Wayans Movie post borders on gallows humor, and I fucking love it. Why don't you grab a drink or twelve with the Comment of the Day this weekend?

As the day wore on, others jumped in the mix. I see you, Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet; actually I see two of you. I like the invisible batting helmet line better, which isn't to disparage the cussing in the Federline comment. The first one requires a bit more work from the reader, in the form of double checking the photo up top.

Same Sad Echo's comments have a way of descending into hilarious madness, and his totally-existent-and-unquestionably-real list of NHL crotch-grabbing statutes unravels in typical SSE-esque fashion. I mean, seriously, "a crotch in the hand is worth two in the balls"? What does that even mean? Moreover, how goddamn absurd is this nonsense in the Counterfeit WC Trophies post? I wanna examine your brain, you big goof.

Tagging along with SSE in the Quenneville story is BloodGames with a very nice "He went on to add …" that tastes just right.

Here's an excellent dig at Andrea Bargnani from DingoDen in the Baseball-Playing Chicken thing. The timing is there, the cadence is sound, and the tricolon unfolds smoothly. Good grab.

This gnarly bend by Milo Minderbender in the Fake Trophies post should be read in a Cambridge croon.

Total Fucking Duds

I can't tell you how much I enjoy a YouTube clip presented without context or comment, TeddyBonkers.

Thanks for sharing such a thrilling anecdote, RetepAdam21. Know what word I've been thinking about a lot lately? Inane.

What the shit is even happening here, drex?

Captain Murphy hooked himself a big ol' dead fish today. Seriously, where is this one going?

[Mount and Do starts family minivan in garage, slams on accelerator, plows straight into living room]

Hey, josefrees, if you're bored, there's a transmission-fluid tasting at the Jiffy Lube around the corner.

All in all, a damn fine week, jerks. Include what I missed below, and go do something outside this weekend. #BePeace