Hello, I'm Col. Maddox, and here's your Friday Roundup.
Favorites, In No Particular Order
The morning started out pretty slow, but a sliver of humor popped up with a dig at mouthbreathers across the country by chid. Not a gut-buster by any means, but the allusion of Michael Sam as the root of the entire NFL's problems is just the kind of thing to spread a big grin across my face.
The Manziel Finger Fine post served itself up for an easy swing by Madoffs Mets, and the simple, spare layout of this joke is really what makes it such a gem.
Speaking of jokes practically waiting to be made, RMJ=H received well-earned applause for his great shot at Michael Vick in the Jets post today. Certain joke material gets mined heavily, a la Emmitt Smith, etc., but RMJ uses flawless execution to maximize the laughs in this joke. This is your COTD.
Speaking of that lovable daff Emmitt, cobra, brah! continues the eternal pile-on of misunderstood Emmittisms with this goofy bit. This joke has been worn down to a nub at this point, but it's the way cobra starts it with the "Whoa," that just makes it damn near impossible not to laugh.
I love a joke that imprints an image into your mind that you can't stop laughing over, and marmol heater did that effectively today with this beautiful zinger on Bob Costas. The slight misdirection at the start of this joke really gives the reveal that Costas just can't quite connect with his imaginary combatant that much more, uh, punch. Also, back in the NYJ/Vick post, marmol takes a great, opposing angle to RMJ's laugher with a great rip on the literal shitshow that is CNN.
The UConn-UMass rivalry post was ripe for the picking, and Milo Minderbinder brought the raunch with this disgusting pull. Damn you for making me laugh, Milo. Damn you.
Total Fucking Duds
Hey, duds still happen! All the fucking time, actually. And while today had some real cherries, this is the particularly egregious example of what NOT to do on Deadspin, Vin. We finally get the goddamn pending system back to shove awful, homophobic drivel back into the hellhole it came from, and you, Vin, take a moment in time where your synapses were firing bullshit all over the walls of your apartment to REPLY to this idiot. Please avoid pulling up the worst of the crowd, folks. Everyone misses on jokes sometimes, but there's literally no excuse for bringing this trash up into the featured discussion.
Avoid, at all costs, the Taney post. Good fucking lord.
Well folks, this has been your short and sweet Friday Roundup. Yell out your comments, diatribes, omissions, and general fervor below, and have a damn good weekend.