Roundup- Friday, August 29th, 2014

Sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow day, though I'm sure that was due to all of you busting your asses and being as productive as possible before a long Labor Da-

[scans crowd]

[takes giant pull of Old Overholt]

[stands for a moment to prevent muscle atrophy]

Lazy fuckers. Let's do this.

Favorites, in no particular order:

pkellen2313 does his usual thing in the Montero Ice Cream post, and I love it more every time I read it. Taking a simple fat joke and couching it in that kind of structure turns something like this into a real gem, and guess what? It's your Comment of The Day.

Renowned Canadian troubadour and corporate watchdog DougExeter fires off this stupid joke in The Fittish *adjusts plush chair* Detergent post. You goddamn idiot. Also in the same post, Milo Minderbinder bravely allows himself to be seen in public with Doug and lets off some steam towards what was possibly the worst known beverage to mankind.

Total Fucking Duds

Thanks for the little beer chat, Americanitis1.

Batista Thumbs Up, why? This is so lazy it made me ill. Try harder.

[Head visibly steams] Who pulled this guy BreakerBaker up? Fucking putrid.

As of this writing, sitting atop the approved discussion in the Aldon Smith post is pile of hot, pointless, unfunny garbage by Batista Thu- wait. Really? Jesus Christ. "Try harder" means think about your jokes, not hitting the publish button every time a synapse fires into the dying coal fire that is your brain. Just a few idiots down, the chugging shit factory that is chupacabraburrito leaves us with yet another reason for our species being wiped off the face of earth.

Vitriol aside, leave your hates, loves, and treatises below, or go the fuck outside and get some fresh air.

Enjoy your long weekend.