Roundup - Monday, February 10, 2014

Favorites and duds from today's commenting:

So, a football guy told people he was gay, I'm sure that there was only productive discussion to be had in the comments on all the Michael Sam articl- [starts reading comments] [clicks on 'Pending Submissions'] [dies]

Look, I'm leaving those articles alone today. I looked through them and basically all of the attempts at jokes were crap. I'm not making them duds, but there weren't any favorites there either. Let's move one, because there were some good comments elsewhere.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Charlie Villanueva has alopecia. Maybe because it's a disease that isn't life- or health-threatening means that it's funnier to make jokes about. Or maybe it's because Charlie would be an ugly sum'bitch even if he had any hair. Either way, pkellen2313's easy one-liner in the Mo Cheeks post takes full advantage.

AMagicianNamedGod made me laugh with this funny shot at the Olympic hosts in the Stoked Translation post. Them Russians like to drink, amirite? Another, less talented, commenter tried a similar line and ended up with more recommendations, but this joke layers in the allusion to the old "the Inuit have thirty-seven words for snow" line, which is the touch necessary to push it to the Favorites.

Speaking of mocking Russians, there's a little bit of life left to be squeezed out of the "poor washroom facilities" meme, and marmol heater does just that here in the Trapped Bobsledder post. It's funny because he probably crapped in the elevator.

darinh brings us some lower-case hijinx in the Dancing Luger post. Every two years, we get all worked up about a tape-delayed sporting event that we'd never watch if you paid us at any other time (looking your way, water polo). Every two years, someone makes this joke in some form. Every two years, I laugh, but that's more to do with my personal problems. Anyway, this helped me hit my quota.

Meanwhile, in the same post, here's stalwart Bevraj of Choice with a bon mot for that luge commentator. Good to see you around these parts more often, BoC.

This is a bizarre and surreal creative offering from cobra, brah! in the Russian Speed Skater post. There's so much to love in here.

Theodore Donald Kerabatsos drops by to grace us with the Comment of the Day with this recontextualization in the Petchesky Conspiracy post. This is awesome.

Guy who I think is a new guy Samuel Eto'o's o-face had a few reasonably funny jokes today but his best was this shot at Andy Reid in the NFL Sweaters post. Stick around and keep making funny jokes.

Here's a simple little play on words by Gene Rayburner in the Korean Russian post. Well done.

Total Fucking Duds

Why. Why would you do this, Chamomiles Davis. What could it possibly accomplish.

Well, it wasn't as bad as this idiotic reply to cobra's winner up there. "Trying too hard" is the quintessential moron's insult, even when it's spelled correctly. "HURR DURR LOOKIT THE HOMO PUTTING IN AN EFFORT WHAT A HOMO." Clearly, the alternative to, you know, actually giving a shit is better, as this comment proves clearly.

I picture this guy sitting at home, making this comment, thinking "HURR DURR FIGURE SKATERS ARE FAGS AND EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME." This is the guy who becomes the drunk uncle at family get-togethers, making crude jokes in front of the kids and then laughing while drinking shitty beer. Fuck off.

It was the day for shitty replies to great comments, largely because it is a day ending in 'y'.

Stop.

***

That's all for today. Omissions and complaints below.