Roundup - Tuesday, April 22, 2014

If you're reading this, welcome, have a seat. You've made it through another banner day of Deadspin commenting.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

It took until about noon EDT for someone to make an actual joke today, but from there it was off to the races. First across the stripe was—you guessed it—The Amazing Sneijderman with a hilarious U-turn in the Russell Allen post. TAS is one of the best at jumping into what could be a serious remark before he yanks the tablecloth from under your nose.

Speaking of bait-and-switches, punch-line machine DougExeter asks that you read this gag all the way to the end before typing anything into the "Reply" field. The comment of course stands on its own hysterical merit, but bonus fun was had by watching Exeter unwittingly stumble into a hornet's nest of illiterate assholes. Like RMJ's joke last week, Exeter's gotcha is pitch perfect in a post with high visibility. It's tragic, though, that in Doug's case outrage trumped patience or benefit of the doubt. In reading down some of those replies, which I highly recommend as a perfect antidote to whatever will to live you still have, I'm particularly troubled by those who think "anything goes" in Deadspin's comment section. In a way, they're right, because they have a platform and voice to make "anything goes" sort of remarks. In a better world, they're flat wrong. I won't claim the definitive mantle of This Is What's Funny And That's Over The Line, but I can say that the more established, regular commenters who take time from their day to make themselves and others laugh are sensitive to reprehensible subjects like sexual assault, systemic racism, and homophobia. Pointing that out in the face of open hostility is commendable, Doug. In addition to the Comment of the Day, I'm sending you a vat of Neosporin to help with those self-flagellation gashes.

Well, fuck.

With Exeter laying down cover fire in the Lueke story, the remainder of the afternoon's joke traffic was relatively light. It's always refreshing to mention lower-profile contributors in the Roundup, and here we have emptyquiver needling Burneko's John Wall piece with some good-humored wit.

In the NYCFC post, Milo Minderbinder's childhood vignette goes haywire with an excellent twist. I also liked this little jab, re: the Sawx Fans tweet.

Total Fucking Duds

Alright, Rod Strickland Propane, just calm down for a minute. Or maybe an hour. Or maybe 72 hours. I swear to Christ, some days you must churn out more words than three of Gawker Media's writers combined. Like, seriously, how many more Very Important Points do you wanna make in the Moyes post? Oh you're still typing? Fuck off.

Congratulations, AfterFurtherReview, you understand what "myopic" means.

Let's make a deal, wavedrop: every time your "usual retort" appears in Deadspin's comment section, your name will appear down here in bold.

Hey look! Berkjay maybe kinda read Nietzsche once and wants you to know that words have no inherent meaning and so racism is done okay we should just stop talking about it because talking requires words but wait didn't you just say that words don't mean anything in and of themselves I'm confused.

If you can muster the energy and emotional kevlar needed to sift through the day's mountain of dung, share any worthwhile findings below. I'm gonna go unwind with a double root canal.