Roundup - Tuesday, April 29, 2014

[clears desk of 26 Olde English bottles emptied during the weekend's solitary binge]

Fucking Tuesdays.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

ObscureSimpsonsReference hit the office early today to drop a hilarious list in the Sterling Lawsuit story. That's excellent placement to have "Darren Collison" buried as item number three. He then returned this afternoon with a ridiculous sentence that made me laugh out loud. Good work today, buddy.

Man, that Florida Dad post was ripe for good joke making, but only Same Sad Echo brought the funny.

Apparently a good power lunch was just the ticket for some afternoon hilarity. The MMA post saw Pornstars-for-Wilbon make a Roundup debut, and snoop-a-loop had some funny snark regarding the video quality.

Holy shit! Telemundo snuck into the building with a crazy-good cutter in the Paul George post. Just let that one wash over you for a minute.

You all knew it was coming: round of applause for DougExeter's beautiful drive to the rack following the Sterling announcement. What a spot-on thing to say in the wake of such a fucked up story. The timing is of course perfect, and the joke fulfills that immediate pang for laughter in the moment of victory. (Also, is 440 recommendations in 40 minutes some kind of land-speed record?) Come on down, Doug, and take a well-earned Comment of the Day.

Props to Insert Clever Name for making one of those idiot jokes that brings out others' idiocy in the Twitter Idiots post.

As is often the case, a significant drop-off accompanies an afternoon news dump, but deadscioscialistsociety hung around for a tight quip in the Clippers' Website update.

Total Fucking Duds

Look, Juicy J Mariotti, we know you must click every link that appears on Deadspin's front page, but must you type your thoughts into the reply field as well?

In today's installment of unbridled-racism-unquestionably-improves-the-Deadspin-commenting-experience, guessy212 has some scalding hot opinions about minorities going to basketball games. What's really great about this shit-for-brains is that after being banned, he showed up again under a new name, spouting the same racist sludge. If ever there was an indictment of Our Beloved Lady Kinja!

Oh cool, resident chronographer dhiver reads Barstool Sports every now and again.

I guess it wouldn't be a duds section without Rod Strickland Propane espousing opinions to himself, would it?

BeeRye would like to meet you in the vomitorium.

And with that, I've reached my saturation point for shitty, shitty comments today. Point out what I missed below, and we'll see you tomorrow.