Roundup - Tuesday, August 19, 2014

After a couple good coats of leather varnish, the Roundup saddle is primed and ready to go. Let's have a look-see at what you funny people said today.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

Welp, a goodly number of you must have had a healthy breakfast, because that Redskins Solidarity post straight slayed me. Milo Minderbinder notched a wicked solo shot that constitutes perhaps the best attempt at the "tears" angle I've seen in a long time. There was a time last fall that pertinence and appropriateness were under discussion when Redskins stories came to bear, and Milo's feint is just oblique enough to make the reader do some work. Well done.

I'm happy to see Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet beginning to carve out an observational voice for himself, and this tight wordplay gave me a hearty laugh.

pkellen2313 added to the gift basket with some characteristic grunt-and-point humor. Stone cold, my friend, stone fucking cold.

Speaking of stone cold jokes, Raysism netted himself a Comment of the Day with this dastardly attribution gag. The beauty here is in the minimal setup and straight-up shiv at the irony of calling attention to racial inequality beneath a banner of historical racism. And did you also know that Ray's commenting name is a pun on racism? Like, holy shit!

Same Sad Echo had a busy day, didn't he? I had a grand old time laughing at this simple dialogue in the Manziel Flipping the Bird story, especially because I'm fairly certain that Tim Couch is actually working for a septic tank company as we speak. Echo then returned this afternoon for a personal pyramid thread in the UConn Mullet thing. You ridiculous maniac.

Erg also stopped by the UConn Mullet to drop an excellent "back in my day" gag. I'm still not entirely sure how an exploded battery describes that dude's hair, but I can kinda squint and make out the connection. I think.

Puns were the order of the day in the Minnesota Wild Dog Painting, and some rando named Grdo brought the house down with this nifty cuteness. And a bit further down, StuartScottsEye let slip his affinity for Art History and French Impressionism.

Madoffs Mets snuck a wonderful "to be fair" joke into the Texas AD idiocy. I love a good Vince Young knock, and Madoffs' concision and pivot around "profit" make for an excellent one-liner there.

Good gravy, SavetoFavorites! This sketch in the Couch Loading Fools is fucking spectacular. You've of course offered us similarly vivid scenes before, but the attention to detail here foists the whole argument on the reader so that it's like I'm there, man. The timing! The cadence! Lordy that's funny.

Our last favorite comes courtesy of marmol heater, who pulled a slant-rhyme type of wordplay in the Old Kobe Footage story. Tidy stuff, marmol.

Total Fucking Duds

What's going on here, Pornstars-for-Wilbon? Setting aside the "clickbait" bullshit, why the Very Important Point? I've seen you in the favorites before. Why—as a featured commenter—attract flies by arguing the merits (such as they are) of Patterson's opinion? I have yet to see some commenter on any sports blog offer up an argument so persuasive that I've thought, "wow, this person is right, I feel entirely the opposite about this or that issue." It's not gonna happen.

What in the holy fuck is going on here, Auto-Tuned Eli Manning? .gifs/videos/.jpegs add absolutely nothing to Deadspin's comment section, so, because you are barred from posting that tripe, you go ahead and describe it, like, in words? #SoYouWatchedATelevisionShow. Who the hell verified this guy?

I think that'll do it for me. Drop your personal favorites or omissions down below, and sleep tight, chuckos.