Roundup - Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Somewhat fewer favorites in tonight's Roundup, but at least we're not sacrificing quality for diminished quantity. Let's round 'em up.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

Our favorites commence with John, Maddened's mini-skit in the Sport Science post. Wes Welker's concussion history is well-worn earth, but Maddened's specificity and to-the-point delivery render this a wonderfully vivid little scene. Good stuff.

Goddammit, FreemanMcNeil. This stupid pun in the Michael Sam Shower story—which, let's face it, has to be one of the dumbest fucking things ESPN's ever pulled—is impossible not to laugh at. This one could have easily fallen apart with a "removes sunglasses" insertion, but four simple words carries it on into tonight's collation.

Let's stick around the Michael Sam thing, shall we? Raysism continued his recent charge with this tidy diatribe on bathroom etiquette. The "well, actually …" goof is common enough around the Deadspin slums—best practiced by no less than The Amazing Sneijderman—and in a story that saw cross-posting to Gawker and Jezebel, Ray's comment probably led a number of readers to double-take what they just saw.

Who in the hell is this Rare Endangered Vuvuzela person? In any case, I love this desultory paragraph from the Michael Sam story for a number of reasons: chief among them, though, is that I'm sitting there wondering just who in the fuck you are talking to up until the end, when I finally learn that you're just waxing on about personal hygiene to a group of people seated in a restaurant (?!). What. The. Hell. How about this, REV? Next time David Hume is selling LSD out of his Camaro, you pick up some for all of us to share. Thanks.

The afternoon stories really brought out your dark sides, didn't they? For instance, take a look at Erg's continuation quote in the Kobe story. Honestly, I didn't know you had it in you, old man. Is that what happens when you quit smoking?

marmol heater also turned in a cringer in the Josh Shaw update that willfully—and hilariously—misreads the post for a glorious Idiot joke. Take a Comment of the Day, you stupid, stupid fool.

In the other Josh Shaw update, Milo Minderbinder had some fun with police violence and wrote a typically Milo-esque fist-to-the-face. Yeesh.

pkellen2313 rounds out the favorites with an excellent pkellen-type of misdirection. These sorts of gags are favorites in pkellen's toolbox, and today's favorite makes a novel turn from the "grass on the field" gross-out for some standard "here's the goddamn joke" type of humor. Nice work.

Total Fucking Duds

Just what in the hell, Rexpane? Like I, or anyone, else reading Deadspin gives a chupacabra's dick about your Madden franchise. God that shit is stupid.

That's all, folks. Drop your favorites on the day down below, and enjoy the baseball, or whatever. I'm gonna go play Madden.