Roundup - Tuesday, June 10, 2014

My oh my oh my, kiddos. What a day. Tons of jokes. Many of jokes. A lot of jokes. Let's take a look at those jokes.

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

Pissing parakeets, Pleatherface, what kind of caffeinated motor oil did you drink this morning? This fictive syllabus in the Sepp Blatter post just floored me. Look at that thing! And it's hard to even pull a singular punchline out of there: just a gloriously sustained indictment on the lowest detritus the internet can find. This is your goddamned Comment of the Day, everyone.

Howdy do, marmol heater? Here's a splendid little one-liner in the midday Sterling-Ballmer update. Right beneath marmol, SeriousWhimsy, whom I haven't seen in the favorites before, dropped the old faux-knowledge bomb for some hilarious "expertise." Bazinga.

The Dexter Sheepherding post is adorable, ain't it? I'd like to mention two suave efforts over there. First up, Mangini In A Bottle ate some of Same Sad Echo's acid and decided to go with a longish dialogue. I lost it about halfway through all different sheep talking, and the return to the ennui of our mundane job is equally as satisfying at scene end. Just below, snoop-a-loop tackled the same nut in more concise fashion for an oblique nod toward the "sheeple" angle. Way to go, boys.

You are so stupid, pkellen2313. Just a completely off-the-wall direction to take the Victor Martinez dance today. Christ.

Look at this little back-and-forth between David Hume and Steve D in today's Funbag. Sure they're reply jokes, but what fun. Fun! Bag! Funbag!

Total Fucking Duds

Eat a trough of shit, LamarBone. Fuck me, that ruined my breakfast.

What a hot take, Evil Bilbo. You sure showed Deadspin, which if I remember correctly is made up of a plural number of writers, three of which posted three separate articles between Friday and today related to Manny Machado. You want consistency? Fiber-One will give you consistency. Fuck you.

[exhales ten times] Okay, I'm done. That'll do. Give us your favorites and leftovers below, and see you tomorrow, sheeple.