Favorites, in no particular order:
Miserable Shitehawk, you were my alpha, and my omega. In the summer of 2011, I would wake up before 5 am to see if my barely-developed one liner had made the cut, had made it on to some total stranger's list of acceptable Deadspin comments, had made me famous. In the fall of 2012, you watched me grow into a COTY. Your opinions are fact; your judgments, unappealable. I would travel to Spain with you, just to see you kill one of your mentally challenged childhood friends. I love you.
Total Fucking Duds
Voltaire's Angry Glove, you are total ass.
And Senseless Apprentice, you sucked.
Here's a surprise: Tyson T. Grivens is next in a long line of people less funny than me who I don't give a shit about.
I don't even know where to start with Substitute Bastard. It was bad enough that Shitehawk took a few months off in 2011; we didn't deserve your painful analysis.
Nice try, DougExeter.
I'm still not clear on who or what was Earless Reader.
It's not looking good, Benevolent Dictator.
MKM may be the ultimate bastard, but IronMikeGallego is the ultimate dickweed.
Plus Juan, you... you were... okay, you were aiight.