Roundup - Wednesday, January 15, 2014S

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Listen, I'd love to have a big flowery intro that you jamokes could skip right over while trying to find your name in the morass of "has an original voice"(s) and "this guy should be shot out of a cannon"(s) below, but we just haven't got the time. And you should all be shot out of cannons anyway.

Favorites, in no particular order:

There were a couple of lazy swings at comedy references in the comments of the Matt Bonner post, but Wendel Clark Bar blooped a single at least by managing to make an actual joke instead spewing forth a creatively bankrupt, point 'n' click reference. If you know anything about Kaufman/Zmuda, you understand the idea of the joke is not only very funny, but somewhat plausible. Good visuals, too.

In other flying-under-the-radar news, I kind of enjoyed this boilerplate quip from girlwonder in the Mike Zimmer post. Not a whole lot of nuance there, just a good, solid (and true, I reckon) joke.

I guess the lack of great jokes today was because of a lack of attendance, and that lack of attendance meant the good jokes that were made went underappreciated. The two starter jokes in this chain, from the Lebron post, aren't offensive or anything, but am I wrong in thinking JunkCult's historical misappropriation is way out of left field and far, far funnier? I don't know. Maybe. Slow day.

This is really gross, from Madoffs Mets, in the Jim Harbaugh post. But it is funny. It's almost ruined by the language, it's almost ruined by the nauseating(ly) unfunny GIF reply, and it's almost ruined by the knowledge that it will be broken down into its component parts and sold off to second-rate jokemakers for highly efficient and unromantic memeification, if it hasn't already. But it is funny. So is this one. I hope this is the worst of it for A-Rod.

Welp, that's a good one, fusilliGaryBettman. It's the best one today, in fact. It's the Comment of the Day, is another way to say what I just said. Yup.

I'm really sorry, pkellen2313. I really am. I had a big paragraph typed up and then it got deleted and I don't want to retype it. The joke is funny. Thanks for making it. Wish I was dead.

Here's another severely underappreciated gag, this time from Universal Enveloping Algebra, again at the expense of a very portly former baseball player. Are jokes that make you scroll back up to the picture and then back down to the joke the best subset of jokes? It's probably between those and stuff from MakeYourOwnGif.ass.biz for the top spot.

Total Fuckin' Duds

Hope you were ready for a night where there are as many duds as favorites. Our own Drew Magary was. Hey, just because you're a local boy made good doesn't mean you get to make a terrible joke, in a hackneyed format, with a shit cop out and it'll all be good. And look at the GIF it spawned. Christ.

For Sweden continues his quest to overtake that other guy who sucks as the guy who sucks the most. Shut the hell up.

"Jew Looks Like Jew". Thanks, Christian_Okoye_Dokoye, for that horrid bullshit.

Want desperately to be dead, mikebrownshumility. In Heaven, stupid fucking memes make you! Wait.

No.

This became a joke in like 1596. And it still is, if you ask blahblahbooey.

Finally, I'm seriously concerned about this person. I won't use his name, just to maintain plausible deniability in the event that he's one of those guys who sends rice flour to Ben Bernanke in a few years or whatever. Calm the fuck down, dude. They like craft beer and bikecycles, get over it.

Goodnight, folks! See you a few days from now, textually speaking!