Sandwich Cheeses, Ranked

1. Havarti

2. Muenster

3. American (yes, fucking American)

4. Pepper Jack

5. Brie

6. Gruyere

7. Cheddar

8. Being a pedestrian in the crosswalk and narrowly missing being struck by an oncoming car only to be hit by a full-speed cyclist

9. Provolone

10. Being hit by a car

11. Swiss