Mail is composed of letters and packages delivered by a postal system.

Last week, I asked you, my thousands of lovers and supports, to send mailbag questions to me. This is a mailbag. I am doing one now. On this web page.

These questions are real and uncut. If you’d like to be part of next week’s mailbag, email me at chidspin@gmail.com (I will redact your last name), or tweet @CHIDSPIN with the hashtag #imastupidlosermailbag

On to the show!

did u do the mailbag - @ZWMartin

No, I am doing the mailbag now.

What is your favourite Canadian animal? - @ZWMartin

Canada is a nation with many animals. My favorite is THE ARCTIC WOLF. Look at that cute little guy! He chews with his mouth.

can you grow potatoes and tomatoes in the same garden plot and is this spelled cirrectly/ - @bonehead1973

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You can do whatever you want as long as you believe in yourself and you weren’t born poor.

I just got out of my elevator and a guy was standing there and didn’t see me for a second, stepped in then back then he said “thank you.” Why did he say “thank you?” Was it sarcasm? Awkward reaction? Thank you. - @ZWMartin

I have to assume that this gentleman was thanking you for not murdering him. He did not detect you in the elevator, and when he did detect you, he was grateful that you chose not to stab him to death in light of the drop you had on him. As I understand it, you live in an area of the world known for murder (the USA).

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Also, congrats on owning an elevator. That’s a level of success many of us can only inspire two.

How is Joe Cole of the TB Rowdies doing? - @packman_jon

Joe Cole was a character in the FIFA series of video games who appeared most notably on Chelsea FC in the mid-to-late-2000s. I don’t know what the Tuberculosis Rowdies are. Probably downloadable content? My mom doesn’t let me put my credit card on the world wide web, so I wouldn’t know is your answer.

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If Steph Curry and Michael Jordan played one on one, why do you have syphilis? - @nickjma

I certainly did not receive this syphilis via sexual intercourse with a human being, let’s get that out of the way right now. Probably it came from vigorously rubbing my genitals on a Valero bathroom toilet seat to feel a level connection with other living beings.

Hi Chid,

long time, first time.

I have a two part question for you:

1) why is curtis wenis so bad at tweeting? and 2) where does poop come from?

thanks!

your old buddy rubdirtinit

This is a great two part question.

1) The quality of Curtis Wenis’ tweets is what keeps Twitter the inclusive, all-are-welcome platform that we know and love today. Without tweeters like Curtis, where would angry people go to vent racial bigotry toward players on sports teams they do not cheer for? In your backyard, that’s where. Love it or hate it, Twitter keeps you safe. You can thank Curtis Wenis for that.

2) The poop comes from the butt.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Emilio Delle Banjo

Make me, four eyes!

That’s it for this week’s mailbag. English is the language I wrote this post in. Good day.

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chid is a sentient robot who lives in the Northeast Region of these United States. His ramblings have been chronicled by The New York Times, and he is not a robot anymore, he broke character like 8 months ago, so stop calling him a robot, stupid.