SMDH: Family EditionSMom of RMJ=H (texting): how are my grandchildren

Mom of RMJ=H (texting): did you know that Terry Park my friend Jane's son is getting married he's 38 you know he's weird marrying that girl they are getting married in november big wedding from what I'm hearing it will be at a local spot but they are not sure where yet Jane doesn't have any grandchildren even though she has three kids and Terry's the youngest

Mom of RMJ=H (texting): how are my grandchildren

RMJ=H (texting): good

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RMJ=H: [walks into room from outside] "Hey guys! Whatcha doin'?"

2 year-old son of RMJ=H: "Hi Daddy!"

Wife of RMJ=H: "OH NOTHING, JUST BEING SILLY." [whispers to RMJ=H] "I taught him what a wedgie and a wet-willy was. Just watch!" [whispers command to son]

2 year-old son of RMJ=H: [huge smile forms across his face, licks palm, sticks it down the back RMJ=H's pants]

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Wife of RMJ=H: "I'm going to put my P-U-R-S-E in the car."

RMJ=H: "Because criminals can't spell?"

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RMJ=H: "Ready to go to bed, Sweetie?"

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H: "Let's read a book together before bed."

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H, yelling: "Hey Honey?! Have you been teaching her to say 'No'?"

Wife of RMJ, from other room: "NO."

RMJ=H, yelling: "Well she sure knows it now."

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H: [reads half of The Very Hungry Caterpillar]

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H: [reads half of Goodnight Moon]

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H: [reads one-quarter of Goodnight Moon, The Alphabet Book]

RMJ=H: [puts daughter in crib, whispers "I love you"]

1 year-old daughter of RMJ=H: "No."

RMJ=H: [Decides to have vasectomy.]