I'm a naturally outgoing fellow, always have been and probably will be for the foreseeable future. When I was a young pup, I would get scolded for saying hi to the neighbors from inside the house, behind curtains and screens and possibly/probably closed windows as well. It was nature.

This has carried over into adulthood, where I automatically make small talk with strangers in odd and, for them I assume, uncomfortable positions. This drives the wife insane, but she can't change me and I think she's coming to accept that after five years.

This brings me to the local grocery store. I'm doing my shopping as one does; eggs, milk, bread and beer, when I come across a middle aged couple with two carts absolutely loaded with booze. Easily a grand in alcohol. Unable to help myself, "Hell yeah, I want to party with you guys!"

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The guy stares straight through me as his wife bursts into tears. Icily, he answers "Thanks, but it's for my mother-in-laws wake."