At the beginning of the story, Volktron and Globber are at their separate houses eating breakfast with their families on Father’s Day. This story takes place in the land of Kony during the infamous era of Strife and Danger. All of a sudden the evil shadow giant Smegmárr comes to town hell bent on destruction. Smegmárr lays waste to the town and to the houses of Volktron and Globber, who just barely escape with their lives in the nick of time, but their families die tragically in that raging inferno of death. Smegmárr then leaves and flies back to his underground fastness in the far away Shadowland of Skulldong. Volktron and Globber both cry out in lament over their tragic losses on Father’s Day, and then they swear a blood oath to quest to the mysterious Snergman and enlist his help to defeat Smegmárr once and for all.

First they go to the impassable Mountain of Gorbinson and they make it to the other side. Then they make it to the Scabland of Crimp. Then they walk through Charmin Forest where the talking bears are. Then they make it to the hills of Roark and bivouac. Then they make it to the village of Roark. Then they walk on the trail through another forest and are accosted by bewitched shrubbery. Then they they climb the Peak of Roark, which the Necromancer’s Scrolls deemed unclimbable... but they make it to the top and then down it. Then they walk to the famous standing stones in Garfield Gulch and get accosted by grunting Irish brigands. Then they make it to Crampkin Hollow, where they have a huge battle against the forces of Smegmárr, who surprises them with a sneak attack. Before this happened Volktron and Globber amassed a good big army of their own and trained them in the art of war, but it was still easily defeated by the powerful shadow lord Smegmárr and his army of detestable swamp orcs (Irishmen). Smegmárr then rudely taunts Volktron and Globber with his bare buttocks and they barely escape with their lives.

Then they make it to the castle of Llawnbarth in the vale of Plumpkin, where they regroup and have some much needed R&R and get their nut off. Then through the hands of fate a map that will lead them to the mysterious Snergman comes to them out of nowhere, which is amazing. Then they set out again on their quest but first they have to cross the impassable Crossing of Craggenstein. They make it across the crossing and then they are at the place where the Snergman is, but

he.

is.

not.

there.

It turns out that Smegmárr got there first and abducted the Snergman, and now he is using the Snergman’s powers to fulfill his abominable plan of complete domination of Kony.

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Volktron and Globber amass a whole new army, and then they set off for the Shadowland of Skulldong. They make it to the Shadowland of Skulldong, and then Smegmárr rides out of his fastness with a huge army of detestable Irishmen. Then there’s a pitched battle on the plains of Megiddo and Globber gets mortally wounded by a swarm of Irishmen during it. Volktron then finds Smegmárr and they have a famous sword fight and Volktron slays Smegmárr during it. Then Volktron goes to Globber to hear his poignant last words. He dies after a good speech and emotions are felt. Then Volktron cries out and laments this tragedy, but also bathes in glory as well and he gets a new hot wife out of this whole mess.