In today's modern technological world the interview process has changed dramatically from the antiquated rigid experience we've all become accustomed to. Instead of having to wait weeks to be rejected by formal letter, you can now be instantly rejected by generic email. Other than that, everything else about the interview process is pretty much exactly the same. But that doesn't mean you couldn't use some helpful reminders of the do's and don'ts of interviewing.

Do dress appropriately: Your outfit is the first thing your interviewer will notice. And you, my friend, do not want to be noticed. Pick a suit style and cut that is extremely dull and unassuming. No one wants excitement during your interview. The only time your interviewer should be excited is the moment you leave. Be cautious when it comes to picking a tie color. Black? Are you going to a funeral? The only thing that's dead around here is your career. Blue? Is somebody depressed? You shouldn't be depressed until you actually start working at this place. Purple? Oh, right this way your majesty! All hail King Pink Slip, ruler of the unemployed. Orange? Orange you glad we didn't hire you? Keep it simple stupid. When you leave that interview they shouldn't be able to remember a damn thing about you, including your god-awful wardrobe.

Don't forget to bring enough copies of your resume. 25 to 35 copies should be suffice. You probably aren't going to really need that many for your interview, but it's always good practice to have extra copies to hand out to people on the street on your way home after blowing your interview. But if you do get caught without enough copies of your resume during your interview, you should politely excuse yourself and run to the nearest Kinkos. And fill out a job application. Because that's the only place that might actually hire your dumb ass.

Do show up early. It's like I always say: early is on time, on time is late, and late is unforgivable - unless we are talking about your interviewer, then late is perfectly acceptable, if not downright gracious. A good rule of thumb is to show up at least 15 minutes early. This allows just enough time for you to acknowledge all of your imperfections. Boy, you sit pretty stupid. When was the last time you lint-rolled that coat? Nothing screams hire me like I'm a single guy with a cat at home. Are your palms always this sweaty? You know the first thing they do is shake your hand right? After feeling that disgusting hand of yours you might as well shake their hand again and leave because your interview is already over.

Don't forget to ask questions. No one wants to listen to themselves talk for an entire interview. No one really wants to listen to you talk either. But people do like to be asked questions. It makes them feel important. And your interviewer is clearly the only important person in the room. Remember, your questions should never be about anything that you actually want to know the answer to. And whatever you do, DO NOT ask about salary. Money is not important to you. You would just as soon work for free if labor laws allowed for it. Salary will be disclosed to you at the proper time, which is approximately 2 months and 5 interviews later when an offer is extended to you that's far below even your lowest expectations. Who cares that this could have all been easily avoided at the very beginning of the process, you shouldn't have taken the interview in the first place if you were anticipating anything more than stipend.

Do give insightful answers. Some people say just be yourself. DO NOT be yourself. You have been yourself your whole life and look where it's gotten you. Nowhere. Your answers should reveal nothing about who you are and everything about who you want them to think you are. Oh, this job requires long hours? Perfect, because I love long hours. I don't really hit my stride at work until around my 12th to 14th hour at the office. How do I feel about taking on a heavy workload with strict deadlines and very little support? YES PLEASE! What are my thoughts on travel? Well when it comes to vacationing, I hate it. But if we are talking about travel for work, that is my definition of vacation. Plus I get to see my family enough on the weekends. My greatest weakness? Late-night binging on work emails.

Don't forget to write a thank you note. So your interview is over, now you can just sit back and wait to get rejected right? WRONG. You have to thank your interviewer for interviewing you 20 minutes earlier. They just took an hour out of their busy schedule to be subjected to looking at and listening to you. No one should have to put up with that without being thanked for it. It's really the least you could do. It's always proper etiquette to thank someone for their time after being interviewed. It is also proper etiquette for the person being thanked to immediately delete your thank you email without responding.

Advertisement

I hope that you have found this information useful. While I can't promise that it will help you land the job of your dreams, I can promise you that it will help your interviewer better tolerate the whole experience of having to meet you. And that's what's most important.