Confession: I've been bookmarking some of your hilarious comments over the course of this year. Granted, this is literally just a long list of comments I'd found funny enough to bookmark upon seeing them. And as for the length of this list, I figure it's either a reflection of your outstanding wit or my outstanding stupidity. More than likely though, it's both.

All of these comments are great, but since this list is so goddamn' long, I've used bolded links to indicate some of the standouts. The list is in alphabetical order, by commenter. Format is:

Commenter:

Title of post with link to comment.

Give it a cursory glance and you'll notice the usual suspects. Now, with that being said, this is a living document. It's definitely not complete, whatever that means, so I encourage you to reply with any additions and I'll amend it accordingly.

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Likewise, if you think a comment shouldn't have been included, but was, I encourage you to light yourself on fire as a sign of protest.

Organizing and reformatting all of these took way longer than I'd expected – way too fucking long. What is wrong with me? Christ. Anyways, enjoy the contents of my "good shit" bookmark folder below.

Happy 2015, idiots. Cheers.


UPDATE #1:

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Aww, shucks! Must’ve forgotten to include my “Ray’s good shit” folder the first go around!


UPDATE #2:

They take to Twitter! Savages, leave a fucking comment!


UPDATE #3:

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I’m constantly updating this fucking thing, so this will be the last notice of an update.


UPDATE #4:

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Self-submissions will no longer be accepted. Okay, now see (3).


The Amazing Sneijderman:

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Youth Hockey Coach Fired For Being A Big Fan Of The Nazis

Little Badass Sends Autographed Jersey To J.J. Watt

Greek Soccer Coach Takes A Cup Of Soda Right To The Face

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Seahawks CB DeShawn Shead Proposes To Girlfriend After Game

Cops: Substitute Teacher Gave H.S. Footballer Oral Sex During Pep Rally

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Reports: Donald Sterling Steps Aside, Wife To Sell Clippers

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Arthur Digby Sellers:

Redskins QB @RGIII is in fine company on Feb. 12

Bevraj of Choice:

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76ers Sign High School Student With Down Syndrome To Two-Day Contract

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Bring Back Anthony Mason:

Jose Canseco Accidentally Shoots Off His Middle Finger

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MSU's Dillon Day Suspended For Stomping Shit Out Of Two LSU Players

Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet:

Coach Fired For Playing In High School Girls' Soccer Matches

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No, There's Not A Ski Jumper Named Cunty Spunkfuckshitpiss

College Scores 109-Yard Punt Return TD In First Ever Football Game

Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms:

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Marcin Gortat Wants The NBA To Allow Fighting

Chamomiles Davis:

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Sportswriter Fired For Calling Louisiana City "Worst Place In America"

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chid:

1,500 Bricks Of Heroin Seized At House Owned By Former Steeler

I Guess Any Part of The body is Up For Eating

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cobra, brah!:

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Jameis Winston To Sit One Half For Yelling "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy"

Four Bodies Found In Fire At James Blake's House

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USC Player Quits Team, Accuses Coach Of Being Racist

The Rangers Took Their Team Photos In The Bathroom

It's Good To Be Rich Enough To Buy A Basketball Team

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Jim Irsay To Be Charged With Two OUI Misdemeanors

Curtis Wenis:

Kent State Lineman Dies In Apartment

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Warren Sapp Stiffs Waitress For Calling Him And His Friends "Boys"

Motel For Stray Dogs Near Sochi Has Roughly 100 Occupants

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Oldest Former MLB Player Dies At 102

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Dave Algonquin (WWTD?):

The Ultimate Spin

Nobody Wants To Host The 2022 Olympics

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Desi_Relaford:

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Curt Schilling Has Disproved Evolution

DingoDen:

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Ray Rice Arrested In Atlantic City After Altercation With Fiancée

NFL Writers Are Mad At Michael Sam Because NFL Writers Are Clowns

Referee Ejects Unruly Front-Row Memphis Fan

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dope:

Falling Beam At Indiana's Assembly Hall Is Metaphor For Something

DougExeter:

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Josh Lueke Is A Rapist, You Say? Keep Saying It.

Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross

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Cyclists Confuse Laundry Soap For Sports Drink, End Up In Hospital

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Delusional Rec-League Softball Coach Has 11 Insane Questions For You

9-Year-Old Girl Skateboarder Lands 540

The NFL's Top 50 Player Sales List

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NBA Bans Donald Sterling For Life

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How To Watch The Sochi Olympics Opening Ceremony Live

Meet Lucy Li, The 11-Year-Old Golfer Playing This Year's U.S. Open

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Emilio Delle Banjo:

Please Adopt This Cat Named "Eli Manning"

Fidrych or die tryin:

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Lana Del Rey Thinkpieces, Ranked

Check Out These Baseball Dogs At The White Sox Game

Fred Merkle:

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"Dear...Hero": Dan Gilbert's Comic Sans Letter, Edited For 2014 LeBron

FreemanMcNeil:

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Please Do Not Try To Punch This Photo

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A Whole Lot Of Ravens Fans Turned Up To Exchange Their Ray Rice Jerseys

fusilliGaryBettman:

Arizona Police Postpone "Run From The Cops" Charity Race

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girlwonder:

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Jack Nicholson Left A Little Kid Hanging At The Clippers Game

There are two things wrong with this picture. Can you find them?

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Jonathan Martin Listed Reasons To Leave The NFL: "Won't Die From CTE"

The Infant Tyrone:

The Dunk Contest Field Has Been Announced, And It's Not Terrible

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Insert Clever Name:

ESPN Suspends Keith Law From Twitter For Defending Evolution [UPDATE]

IronMikeGallego:

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Keith Olbermann Has Seven Ways To Grow Soccer In The U.S.

Shitty Sports Radio Dude Calls Erin Andrews A "Gutless Bitch”

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Jay Sanin:

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The Niners Are Fucking Stupid

Cardinals Fans Get Ugly In Clash With Ferguson Protesters

LeBron James To Sign With Cleveland: "It's Time To Get To Work”

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Joey Tallywacker:

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Brazilian Bobsled Goes Airborne

Tom Brady Shares His Old Resumé

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California Teens Hold NFL-Style "Prom Draft" To Pick Dates

Padres Trade For Justin Upton, Are All The Way Out Here

John, Maddened:

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Ryan Fitzpatrick's Kid Shows Off His Elite Math Skills

Madoffs Mets:

Staying In Sochi Is A Hilarious Adventure

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Some Fools Are Selling Darren Wilson Cardinal Shirts

Paraplegic In Robotic Exoskeleton Performs World Cup First Kick

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A Non-Exhaustive List Of Johnny Manziel Dirt We Will Actually Pay For

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NBA Players' Union Calls Lack Of A/C "Completely Unacceptable"

Oscar Pistorius reacts as he was cleared of the most serious charges

Idiot Father Shakes His Baby Around While Diving To Catch A Home Run

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Which Sports Baby Is The Best Sports Baby?

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FIFA's First Post-World Cup Rankings Are Out

Mangini In A Bottle:

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Sheepherding Dog Is Very Bad At Herding Sheep, Still Very Cute

Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas

marmol heater:

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Here's Mark Jackson Doing Some Intense Sidewalk Preachin'

UEFA Emergency Panel: Russian And Ukrainian Teams Can't Play Each Other

How To Legitimize Bigotry: Embrace Debate

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Marlins Dad Abandons Son For Ground-Rule Double

Cowboys Player Under Investigation In Alleged Sexual Assault Case

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Spurs Hire Becky Hammon As NBA's First Female Assistant Coach

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CBS Instructed Pregame Broadcasters To Avoid Calling Anyone Out

MattStairsSuburuBrat:

Prospect Who Left Combine Because Of God Spent Three Days In Airport

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Metta World Peas:

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The Hater's Guide To The Sochi Olympics

Milo Minderbinder:

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Tiny Bruins Fan Gets Daps From The Whole Team

Rajon Rondo Gets The Troll-Scout Treatment

Terry Francona Goes To The Mound To Tell Pitcher He Made The Team

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Speech Competition Punctuated With Kid Blowing Chunks On Medal Stand

I Can't Stop Shitting Myself: Possessed Woman Attacks Fellow Train Rider

Who Is The Real Racist, According To The Internet?

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Jamaican Newspaper Has Some Sick Burns For Lorde

This Is Not How You're Supposed To Throw A Jump Ball, Ken Mauer

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Kid Falls Asleep At The Wheel Of His Tiny Tractor; Tractor Keeps Going

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Mired in The Grey/Morried in The Gary:

Painted Outfield Wall Makes For A Great Optical Illusion

Nick Young Is Now Part Of The Snoop Lion-Iggy Azalea Beef

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Nikkolai:

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This Picture Of Three Browns Fans Is Pure Sadness

OldBeigeGuy:

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If You're Going To Make Chris Berman Stand Up To Cancer, Put Him On TV

pkellen2313:

Let The Burning Of The Jay Cutler Jerseys Begin

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Pistons Fire Coach Mo Cheeks; Nobody Bothers To Tell The Players

Lebanese Olympic Skier Under Fire For Topless Photoshoot

John Calipari Just Cannot Even Deal With You Right Now

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Here's A 6-Foot-11 High School Quarterback

Rutgers Asks Eric LeGrand To Speak At Commencement, Rescinds Invite

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Woman Knocked Unconscious In Fan Fight Outside AT&T Park

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Pleatherface:

Why Deadspin Sucks, By Former NFL Punter Chris Kluwe

Keith Olbermann Blasts Tony Dungy

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Matthew McConaughey Rocks A Fanny Pack At Astros-Red Sox Game

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Happy Golf Dog Should Be Atop The Open Leaderboard

A Non-Exhaustive List Of Johnny Manziel Dirt We Will Actually Pay For

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Here is The Worst Possible Photo

The Twins' Bear Mascot Can Catch Balls With His Mouth

Leonys Martin's Method Of Wooing Ladies Is Rather Endearing

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Rare Endangered Vuvuzela:

ESPN Reports On Who Is And Isn't Showering With Michael Sam

Four Bodies Found In Fire At James Blake's House

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Raysism:

Why Deadspin Sucks, By Former NFL Punter Chris Kluwe

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MLB Umpire Dale Scott Comes Out As Gay

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Middle Schooler Puts Bleach In Opponents' Gatorade

Steve Smith Is Pissed

Report: Rob Bironas Tried To Run Multiple Cars Off Road Before Crash

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ESPN Reports On Who Is And Isn't Showering With Michael Sam

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Former NFL Cheerleader Allegedly Raped 15-Year-Old She Met On Instagram

A-Rod Paid His Cousin $900,000 To Shut Up About Steroids

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Oscar Pistorius Vomits During Graphic Testimony At Murder Trial

Police Will Investigate Alleged Rape Of Missouri Swimmer

Woman gets Seahawks tattoo on head in bid to win free tickets in "team spirit" radio contest

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Police: Michael Phelps Blew A .14 BAC

181 Dog Breeds On One Very Good Poster

Washington Players Paid Tribute To Michael Brown

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The Cubs' 400-Pound Wrigley Cake Is Sitting In A Dumpster Right Now

Is CenturyLink Field Selling Watered-Down Beer?

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Dead Boxer's Body Propped Up In Fake Boxing Ring For Wake

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Cops: Tyler Thigpen Arrested After Falling Asleep At Wendy's Drive-Thru

Lindsey Vonn Is Just As Dumb And Humorless As Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods

…aw shit, close enough:

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California Golf Coach Charged With 65 Counts Of Child Molestation

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ReverseApeChemist:

Wife Of Ravens Player Ponders Drake, Michael Sam, And Hitler

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RMJ=H:

LeBron's Free Agency Circus Is Officially Underway

A Seahawks 747 Is Currently Flying A Giant "12" Over Washington State

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Michael Sam Bailed A Fan Out On An Unpayable Twitter Bet

Hey, Roger, Get The Fuck Out

LeBron's Hair Is Gone Again. What The Hell?

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Matt Lauer Asks Bob Costas If He'll Be Taking The Red-Eye Flight Home

Vancouver Papers Apologize For Describing Jordan Subban As "Dark Guy"

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Same Sad Echo:

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Report: The Bills Are Officially For Sale

The NBA Misplaced A Point For 20 Years

The Ravens Are Out Here Just Attributing Famous Quotes To Ray Lewis

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That World Cup Trophy You Bought In Chinatown Might Be Fake

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UConn's Starting Quarterback Has A Fantastic Mullet

No One Likes Jim Boeheim As Much As This Guy With A Jim Boeheim Tattoo

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Tony Dungy Says He Wouldn't Want To "Deal With" Taking Michael Sam

The Greek Freak Goes Hunting For Blocks

This UNC Athlete's Paper Is A Joke. Who's To Blame?

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All The Internet Clues That Point To LeBron Going To Cleveland

Samuel Eto'o's o-face:

Police Close Boston Marathon Finish Line, Detonate Unattended Backpacks

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SavetoFavorites:

Watch This Former Gymnast Tear Up The Course On American Ninja Warrior

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Lebanese Olympic Skier Under Fire For Topless Photoshoot

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Philip Rivers Wears A Mullet Wig While Secretly Playing Softball

Nigerian Soccer Player Gets His Arm Busted By His Teammate's Shot

Watch These Fools Try To Shove A Gigantic Sofa Into A Very Tiny Car

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Sgt. Hammerclaw:

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Da Brat Ordered To Pay $6.4 Million For Assaulting Ex-NFL Cheerleader

Shipwreck's Parrot:

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Here Is Some Very Important News About Dick Vitale

snoop-a-loop:

"Hi, Peter, What's New?" "Dead. Everyone Is Dead."

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SponsoredbyV8:

Female Running Back Tackled Multiple Times In Men's Pro Football Game

Steve U:

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Who Is The Real Racist, According To The Internet?

Report: Rob Bironas Was Really, Really Drunk At Time Of Fatal Crash

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What The Hell Is Going On With Donovan McNabb's Mug Shot? [Update]

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StuartScottsEye:

Rick Reilly Writes A Love Letter To Derek Jeter's Unborn Children

Man Who Helped Kill Women's Pro Soccer Dies While Playing Soccer

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Steve Smith Details Exactly How He'd Bully You At Lunch