Exhorted as we all are to tell dashing tales of athletic derring-do, I humbly offer my simple tale of one man overcoming the odds.

So one time this past winter in like 5 degree weather I ran 8 miles outdoors through Detroit, only stopping because I eventually noticed I had run so hard for so long in the cold I inadvertently had made my dick bleed.

This has been a Sidespin story of triumphant sports deeds. Wear BodyGlide.