As we all know by now, or at least most of us know, or in case you didn’t know, Gawker no longer exists because it published a video of Hulk Hogan fucking some guy’s wife without the Hulkster’s prior consent. We will not make that mistake here at Gawrker.

To give you a sense of how serious we are about effectuating this plan, consider this pledge to you, the reader: We will not publish a video of Hulk Hogan fucking IMG’s wife really, really hard. Never.

Though such a video would certainly be newsworthy, now that IMG is an important journalist, we cannot betray our readership, our investors, and most importantly, the Hulkster. The few minutes of curiosity that would be satisfied by watching Hulk Hogan lay ten-inch pipe inside IMG’s wife as she begs for more would not be worth the millions in legal fees that would be accruing as dozens of lawyers sit in court watching hours of tape of a hall of fame wrestler fathering IMG’s next child from behind. We don’t have that kind of money.

So feel free to visit this web-log knowing full well that if we were ever to come into possession of such a tape, it would not be published here, on Gawrker.

(As opposed to, say, distributed through twitter DMs, which are fully protected by most of the Bill of Rights.)