An occasional feature highlighting the wackiest conversations found in the wild unregulated hinterland of Deadspin's Pending Submissions.

From the Chael Sonnen post. Meet John:

tldr. sonnen/silva 1: sonnen comes 1-2 min from winning unanimously. Sonnen/silva 2: sonnem dominates silva until he stupidly throws an unneeded spinning backfist. Hes was a contender against the greateat in the world...twice. What makes you think he cant do the same against jones?????!! 4/18/13 9:40pm

I've never really understood the whole tldr thing. Too long? Too long for what? Is there a timer somewhere? Are you attempting to read this internet blog post during some sort of tense negotiation? Or maybe 3,200 words are simply too many for a piece on MMA? That's an interesting notion: personally, I don't give one goddamn rooty-toot about MMA, and I found the piece to be perfectly manageable. Perhaps you, John, Knower of MMA Things, are less interested in MMA than I, and I genuinely don't care about MMA at all. Not, like, at all.

Oh . . . oh, it's words in general you dislike. Reading as a thing. Unbelievably, John, some people read whole books. Whole books! Multiple whole books.

Know what? Let's kick that particular ball on down the road and focus on the here and now. martbear, speak for morons everywhere:

Silva went down in round 1 to tell Sonnen to give him his best shot. Sonnen had all of round 1 to end it, and couldn't. From the moment round 2 started, Silva annihilated him. It wasn't an "unneeded spinning backfist" that lost him the match on a fluke, Sonnen was outclassed for the entire round. 4/18/13 10:44pm

Hey, whoa, I think we're getting a little off-track here, guys. I thought the piece was mostly about how ugly and cynical Chael Sonnen's marketing strategy has been. I really don't think we want to get bogged down in the technical details of his bouts, you know? Back me up, tiredofscreennames:

Sorry but I am sick of people

Preach on, brother.

acting like Sonnen really had a chance in either of the Silva fights.

Wait, what?

Fight #1 - Sonnen was so roided up his bacne had bacne. Also Sliva fought with an injured rib. Even if he wins the fight title would go back to Silva because of the steroids.

Mmm.

Fight #2 - The first round Silva barely threw a punch and let Sonnen take him down to see what would happen. Round 2 - Sonnen barely touched him and Silva did what he does.

Fascinating.

Jones is a younger Silva with just as devastating strikes and slightly less polish. Sonnen will be get beat down. I am not even going to waste the money to see it and I have never missed a Bones fight. 4/18/13 11:31pm

Yeah, this is great, guys, but do you think maybe we could return to the topic at the center of the piece? You know, the part about Chael Sonnen being the Skip Bayless of MMA? It's time for a voice of reason. CascadianX1, will you rescue us? Will you put us back on course?

lol

[despair]

idiots are pretending a match scored for Sonnen 50-43 was something he had 'zero chance of winning' or that 'Jon Jones is a younger silva' (because they're both black or something despite having utterly different styles) 4/19/13 12:57am

Heh, yeah, totally awesome, WOW would you look at the time -

Could have been scored 100-0 but he still had no chance of winning since there was a drug test. Hell he could have knocked out Silva and STILL lost. So actually he had NO chance of winning.

[purses lips]

As far as style goes:

[sighs, sits back]

They are similar but it has nothing to do with race (nice try troll). It would be one thing if this article was about Evans or Jackson, but it is not so leave race out of it. Both are vicious strikers with an elusive style. Both use their reach advantage and use the 8 points of Muay Thai effectively. Oh and forget the fact the Jones has said he patterns his fighting style after Silva...

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Nothing worse than someone who thinks they know MMA and has no cluse what they are talking about. Ughhh.... 4/19/13 1:03am

Mmm. MMM!

. . .

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Jones is an aggressive collegiate wrestler

Ah. Right.

who practices rangy-kickboxing who mixes in grappling to set up his strikes. Classic Greg Jackson-camp stuff.

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Anderson Silva is a counterpunching muay thai kickboxer who relies on defensive wrestling to keep the fight on the feet with his peerless striking.

You're either racist or ignorant in general on this. 4/19/13 1:13am

Racist! Ignorant! Like . . . like Chael Sonnen, AMIRITE? Hey, how about that guy's marketing strategy, huh? So cynical and ingo -

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Watch Jones and Silva fight back to back. It is like watching world's deadliest striker v1.0 and v2.0.

Okay, sure, I guess I'll just fucking sit here. [sulks]

Are there differences...of course. No two fighters are exactly the same, but there are more similarities than differences.

[aggressively sulking]

Both strike from any angle and any position in the cage. Both bait opponents into uncomfortable positions. Sure Jones will go to the ground before Silva but Silva has no reason to be on the ground.If he does ask Hendo, Lutter, and Sonnen what happens. Only difference is Silva looks for the sub and Jones will GnP.

[nods off]

Racist my ass. I never mentioned race once. I forget more about MMA and the UFC daily than most people will know in their lifetime. 4/19/13 1:33am

[zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

agreed. he can fight, he just makes dumb mistakes. while i don't think he'll beat jones, to say that jones winning is a foregone conclusions is pretty asinine. 4/19/13 5:45pm

. . .

[zzzzzzzburritoszzzzzzz]

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[zzzzzdiscuhdisczzzzzzdiscdisczzzzzzzzdiscussionszzzzzz]

[!]

Hey! Yeah! Mmm-mmm. Hey, this has been great guys. We should totally do this again some time. Oh yeah, sure . . . I don't know, my schedule's pretty nuts these days - crazy, right? - no . . . no, really, I'll call you.