Our own Albert Burneko, God bless 'im, created a wonderful niche for himself on this site, and in so doing, has inherited the crummy comment dog whistle from the erstwhile Big Daddy Drew. Now, don't take my inclusion of his name as an endorsement of my opinion; for all I know, Al left an empty nonstick pan on high heat a year ago and the fumes turned the part of his brain that can tell good comments from bad into Cheerios dust. Or, maybe he's just nice. He certainly handles the increasingly stupid "Durrrr I'm from [Town X]" and "Sir, you, sir, are, sir, wrong, sir. -1 internets" comments with all the aplomb and gritted-teeth courtesy you could want of a sports site's resident food blogger.

This week was no exception. With all due respect to the paleoturds and carrion birds who logged in to kvetch about a verkakte leaf of lettuce being brought within a hundred meters of their carb-tacular meat bombs and this guy, who I think would seem more at home smoking a cigarette and tugging on an oxygen tank outside a medical facility with bars on the windows, worst comment of the weekend (so far) was never in doubt.

Three cheers for Berg88! Thanks to this transparent cry for help, we've all taken a look at our respective stations in life and decided, well, by god, it could be worse. At least we're not praising fucking Steak-Umms in a weirdly condescending internet comment. Hey asshole, ever heard of Free-Z-Steaks? Yeah, they're pretty great. I eat 'em every day. Think about that the next time you're at the grocery store buying fresh fruit and vegetables for your suckers. I mean family. *sweats while standing still*