Madder Bastards Uber Alles
-You thought that Miserable Shitehawk had passed on into a gentler, NFL-hatin', NBA-celebratin', Twitter-abatin' existence? WRONG. He's back... and out for revenge, or at least more miserable posts on this miserable fucking website, you miserable fucking non-posters. (Also coming soon: Shitehawk's revelation of his original handle, which I won't spoil for you just yet but will say may have rhymed with "Carly Fleiss's Hoopla.") Truly, you will be amazed not only by his incisive commentary on Commentariat contributions, but the fact that he managed to stylize his vertical to look EXACTLY like a nearly-default-settings'd Blogspot from 2007. Neat!
-How much more vertical can you get than by ranking things? We aim to find out.
Better Know A Snowblower
-In partnership with Fearless Commerce Team Commander Shep McAllister, we'll discover great deals, savings, and other uses for snowblowers, as well as explore the unique history and culture of "snowblowing," including several eye-opening, on-the-ground/in-your-face-and-mouthparts documentaries. Tractor-pulling and train-running obsessives have nothing on these folks.
Q'd Up: Pool for Idiots (A Billiards Blog)
-This will be the offseason repository for DougExeter's league commissionership duties and, you know, just a place to chillax and shoot up in a dimly lit fashion.
Drank Crank Yank Tank
-Combining the talents of The Beer Idiot™, anti-Canadian xenophobia, and Foxtrot Alpha, let's all "watch what happens" (note to self: trademark that phrase, that's going to be worth something someday) when we turn our attention to the finer beverages and how much danged fun it might be if we were eligible for millions of dollars in retired military vehicle grants to local police departments, what do you say, Gary?
Lawyer? I Hardly Suppoeana'd Her!
-Legal advice with a little bit of heart. Matlock with even more mirth. Absolutely still counts as billable hours. Hosted by current law student/person who sure seems to travel an awful damn lot Batman's Robyn.
Cookies with CHID
-A thrice-weekly morning talk
show liveblog, revolving around small baked goods, your browser settings, and various topics in Linux distributions. More like sudo delicious friendship, am I being correct?
Preaching to the Choir
-Thinkpieces on music and culture, composed solely from hastily-transcripted diatribes at Wednesday night church chorus rehearsals.
This Day In Pancakes
-A pet project of Foodspin's Albert Burneko and hosted by a rotating cast of Deadspin commenters' children at breakfast. Together, we'll discover just how many more bites you can take before you're all done and where exactly in your hair you can get syrup in such a way that will leave your caretakers to wonder if maybe just having a goddamn cat was the right way to go in the first place and if there's really any love left in this sham of a marriage, Helen.
-To be honest, nobody knows what this is. Every time it is brought up at staff meetings, a mournful, empty and echoing howl builds up and drowns out the explanation and by the time it lets up everybody's already on Twitter, but we're still pretty excited to see what it is.