This is our galaxy. We reside in what’s called the Milky Way. It’s pretty fucking big. Just squint your eyes as hard as you can and look near the lower left side and focus on one particular star. That one star might just be our sun. I don’t know really, I’m not an astronomer. All I know is that one of those shiny, tiny dots is our sun. Our planet is like the third planet from that star. I don’t think you can squint that hard to see our tiny planet, but if you can then good on ya. This just proves my point that space is pretty fucking big.

We’re not the only people in space. Hell, our “Way” isn’t even the only Way in the hugeness of space. I refer again, of course, to our Milky Way. There must be other Ways out there. The Dairy Way perhaps? The Cloudy Way? The Know Way (see what I did there?). Hell, scientific types have maybe just possibly heard some shit coming from out there in space. That may go a long way to determine if we’re the only intelligent species in the whole of the bigness of space. We can’t be the only species in space, right? It’s huge. It’s got no end.


M*A*S*H ended after like eleven seasons, even though the Korean War only lasted for three years. Sigfried & Roy ended, but they ended because a tiger got hungry or something. Even the popularity of Smash Mouth ended, if you can believe that!!1! Space doesn’t have an end. You can’t just look at your fellow astronauts and say, “Hey, let’s just bop down to the other end of space, touch the wall, and race back.” It doesn’t work that way Chachi. You could go to the other end of space but you’d never get there. Because it doesn’t exist. That shit goes on forever.

If I went to space, I’d want to go in a super cool space ship, like this one:

I use this ship in Destiny, for the Xbox One. By the way, there’s a coupon for a free XBox One and when you use it, you should get Destiny. I fucking love this game. I’m a Warlock class. That means I can kill like a champ, but I also get super cool powers like shooting lightning, throwing a Nova Bomb, and setting stuff on fire. Anyway, if I went into space I’d use that ship up there because it’s awesome and I’d never get to the end of space anyhow, but anyone who saw me up there would be like, “Dude’s got a sweet space ship.”

Anyway, space is huge. You could get lost out there. So don’t go thinking there’s an end to it, because there isn’t. It’s not round or anything, so you can’t loop back around to Earth. You’ll just keep going on and on forever until you either run out of gas or you bump into some people on some other planet who will either be your friend or kill you.


Space. Pretty fucking big.