A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
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2014 Sidespin Holiday Gift Guide

Illustration for article titled 2014 Sidespin Holiday Gift Guide

The holidays are upon us, and by that I mean that they're pretty much over already and we are all just mere days away from returning to our dull, meaningless lives without any excuses to drink and be merry around others. So let's dull the pain in our hearts with some gifts for the rest of our Sidespin pals, using this handy gift guide.


This is Sidespin Deals. Here, we link to products that our readers may be interested in, and then repeat that process until we have reached our affiliate marketing quota for the month. We may get a small share of each sale, which is to be mailed separately in the form of a check to your good friend and curator Jay Sanin. Even if you don't buy something, please send him a check anyway. His pills aren't cheap.

Gifts For Miserable Shitehawk

Who better to start with in our Sidespin holiday gift guide than the man who helped bring Sidespin back from the abyss of underexplained lists and the frequent presence of chid? Show Shitehawk how much you care with these great gifts.

  • Drywall: MS is always tweeting about how brilliant wall is, and who could blame him? It keeps animals out of the house, and stops people from watching you watch television with no pants on. This is the perfect gift for a big time wall enthusiast.
  • CFL Gear: It's no secret that this Shitehawk isn't a big fan of the NFL, which must mean that he really enjoys Canadian football. Help him celebrate this great pastime by ordering him some great Grey Cup swag.

Gifts For Bronzehammer

  • Miller Lite: The guy just loves a frosty can of Miller Lite. You've gotta respect his good taste. Drink up, big guy.

Gifts For Sandwich Dad

  • Capicola: Franky, I had no idea what capicola was before good ol' sandy dad enlightened me. This product isn't pre-sliced, but it's safe to assume that he's got a deli slicer somewhere in his house, otherwise he never would have been able to give birth to all of those sandwich babies.
  • Ketchup Lays: These may look like potato discs covered in dried blood, but the Focaccia Father swears by these bad boys. Ordering an eight dollar bag of chips on the internet is the best way to tell someone you care, by the way.

Gifts For Raysism

  • Running shoes: Bless his heart, but our pal Raysism needs a pair of shoes so he stops hurting his feet trying to outpunt everyone he's surveyed over the years. He's been trying to do this with bare feet for months, and I keep trying to tell him to get some shoes, but he's just not having it. Save him from himself this holiday season.
  • 2012 COTY Trophy: It won't cost you much, and it'll get him to shut up about it. A rare win-win during the holidays.

Gifts For IronMikeGallego

  • Boxing gloves: Help get IMG back into sparring sessions in no time with a new pair of boxing gloves. He will love them, and every second he spends wearing them is a second that he won't have use of his fingers to repost that goddamn Floyd Mayweather article.

Gifts For DougExeter

Gifts For Same Sad Echo

  • Some fuckin' willpower to finish the logo contest, you dick.

If you can think of any other good gifts for your fellow Kinjas and Kinjos, please include them in the discussion below, but please provide an affiliate link so Shep McAllister doesn't hurt me.


Happy holidays, everyone!

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