A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Really makes you think. Is Ryan Lochte, in fact, a doggie? More importantly, is Ryan a GOOD doggie?

Let’s run a doggie diagnostic.

Ok, so he screwed up a little, but came RUNNING when called. Despite an early mistake — keep in mind Ryan was just a puppy — he rebounded to give love to his master. (Sex.) Rating: ‘Who’s a good boy!’


Ryan is obviously a great athlete, an important factor whenever looking for a dog larger than a clutch. Rating: ‘YES YOU ARE!’

Then again, when Ryan pooped all over the bathroom floor/walls in Brazil, instead of being a good doggie, Ryan ran away, instead blaming the poop on a different dog, leaving some pups stuck in South America without a doggie passport. Rating: ‘BAD RYAN LOCHTE! BAD!’

And finally, the cuteness factor:

Ryan Lochte wagging his tail/sniffing things, like dogs do.

Rating: I’M SO SORRY.

This is 500 Days of Ryan.

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