A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
Illustration for article titled A Parenting Question

So before the question, a little about me. I’m a nerd. My screen name is my nickname when I was younger and Prime, after Optimus. I taught myself how to read when I was four or five from the old checklists that came with Tramsformers back in the 80's, as I knew how to say all their names and could match the letters and sounds up. Watching hours of VHS tapes will do that for a kid.

Anyway, I’m grown up-ish and I have a five year old of my own now. And he’s really into Transformers, because I’ll be damned if I let him like Pokemon or some shit when there’s things I still like out there.


Well the original 1986 movie came out on DVD again last week, the 30th anniversary edition as it were. Now I owned this movie in the roughest sense of the word, as my dad caught it on a Saturday afternoon movie of the week a few years after it was released, so he got a tape in the VCR and I got about 85% of it when all was said and done. It was delivered today and the boy was pretty amped up to watch this flick, which I can’t blame him.

So things are good, for about fifteen minutes. Then there is the classic Optimus-Megatron fight. Things are still good.

We’re giggling together as Prime does Prime shit, kicks ass and takes names. Only.. oh, shit, that’s right: Prime fucking dies.

And so I’m trying to explain to this now suddenly bawling five year old why Optimus Prime turned black and died. I spluttered through things about Prime being hurt really bad, and this is why you don’t get into fights with people, you have to talk about your problems or some shit...

So how do you tell someone that hasn’t really had to experience death or loss how these things happen?

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