Let me start by saying goddammit.
So, many of you will remember, Deadspin used to have something called a Commentist Manifesto. It was a living document, and thank God it was, because the version I linked there is the best version of it and is awfully different from the original, penned by Leitch eight years ago.
It's amazing how long Deadspin's commenters observed — and thrived for observing — that Manifesto. The approval system helped. Aggressive comment ninjas certainly made the biggest difference. Good contributors rose to the top and had near-total freedom, while abusers and tourists and idiots and shitheels toiled away out of sight or were drop-kicked into the void. Ah, those were happy days.
There won't be any Manifesto here on Sidespin. Or, at any rate, I will not be writing one. To the extent that I am the person who does the vast, overwhelming majority of the moderation of this place, I am empowered to set certain rules and enforce certain standards, and it suits me to keep it as simple as possible. More rules will lead to more enforcing of rules, and that's when the drinking starts.
Here's what I want: I want Sidespin to be fun and loose and just as zany as the group of idiots using it, but I also want it to be good. Most of all, I want it to be good. I of course want it to remain a place where regulars can play grab-ass and do inside-baseball type shit, that stuff is fun. On the other hand, I want it to be a place where a random person could stumble in and conceive of some reason why they might want to return. What it should never ever ever be is a place where authors dump useless shit because they want some attention from a bunch of internet strangers.
So, before you post that Underexplained List that is neither original, nor illuminating, nor funny, nor interesting to anyone anywhere on the entire earth, and, of course, lacks explanation, because it's Underexplained, ask yourself if Miserable Shitehawk is going to think it rises above some minimum threshold of, you know, being worth a damn. And if the answer is no, expect me to delete it. And if I have to delete more than, like, one or two of your posts, ever, I'm just going to revoke your author privileges and boot your sorry ass back into the Kinja wilderness, forever.
I will even create a spreadsheet to facilitate the future revocation of author privileges.
Underexplained lists are sort of a winking meta joke at the expense of listicles, and they exist on the Gawker Media network as an ironic, harmless way of driving traffic. In the context of a big popular site like Deadspin, they make sense as cheap fodder for arguments among dipshit tourists. In the cellar door on the back of a gutted shanty off a side road off another side road that is Sidespin, they make absolutely no sense whatsoever. If you want to make a fucking list, it'd damn well better be explained.
This grouchy post is aimed at all content. Don't be a lazy grinding attention hog. Don't be an asshole. Be funny. Be smart. Be thoughtful. Be random. Entertain us. If you are not entertaining us, I will kick you out of here.
Hey, thanks for reading. Have a great night.